....                              
        .:;iiii;;:,                           
       ,iiiii;100ti;1ft11i;,.                 
      ,iiiiiii1001;i1CGGGGCL1,                
      :iiiiiiii;;;ii,;i;:,.                   
      :iiiiiiiiiiii;,                         
      :iiiiiiiiiii11tt;.                      
      :iiiiiiiiiitftLCCf;                     
      :iiiiiiiiitfttLLLLCt:                   
      :iiiiiiiiittttLLLLLLLt,                 
      :iiiiiiiiitfttfLLLLLLCL1,               
      :iiiiiiiii1ftttfLLLLLLLCLi.             
      ,iiiiiiiiii1ffttffLLLLLLLCLi.           
       ;iiiiiiiiii1tffttffffffffLLt:          
       .;iiiiiiiiiiii1tttttttttttttf1:        
         :iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii1;.      
           ,;;iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii:.    
              ,iiiii,:iiiii,,,,,,,,:iiiiii,   
               ,ii;,  :1i;,         .:iiii,   
               ,fi    :Gt             .:ii,   
            ,,,iLi,:::tG1:,             .:,   
           .1tttt1tLLLLLLLf.                  

👽 melyanna

👋 Whovian, metaller. Likes cats, tea, videogames, books, art, and pen and paper RPGs. Supports equal rights. She / Her.

🌍 Drifting in Space

🗣 Followers 30 · Following 36 · Logs 93 · Docked 4 years ago

Actions

Logs

It is raining heavily outside and I am enjoying lying in bed, listening to the sound of rain and occasional thunder.

I went on a distro-hopping rampage. After degoogling my phone I installed Pop!_OS on my laptop and replaced Windows with Linux Mint on my Surface Laptop Go 3. I have not yet ran out of machines to "refresh" though. I am sitting here eyeing my old raspi, thinking it might be next.

Hi! I have been away again for a bit. The universe is not being too kind to me this year and more bad stuff happened (can't add much detail. I am OK though. As OK as I can be). In other news, I have degoogled my phone. I am using Murena e/OS now and I am obsessed by how good it is.

My last day in Warsaw, at least for a while. I am experiencing a lot of different feelings this time around: going back means the proper end of a chapter. I came here to be with my partner, I ended up just being the guest of a friend. Will I ever return? Am I sad? Relieved?

I am now on day 3 of my vacation and I am already feeling better. I am taking it super easy, so there will be places I wanted to see here that I won't be able to visit, but right now I need days with no plans and to be spontaneous. I finally could go on runs again and it feels pretty good.

I went for a nice walk to the park this morning and I am quite happy about it. Maybe next week I will go running again! I will soon be off from work for two weeks and I can't wait.

I am burnt out and exhausted, but I still have one more full week of crunch ahead of me. I am so tired I can barely function.

It has been roughly three weeks since I wrote here that I was having a hard time. I feel better now. I am not the happiest I have ever been, but I am OK-ish now... or getting there anyways.

I have taken up the Small Web July challenge. I spend my online time mostly in here anyways when I am not working, so the challenging part for me is more about the making of content than just the browsing. This will help as I have been in a creative slump for quite a long time. gemini://melyanna.net/small-web-july

I have a Misfin address: melyanna@hashnix.club I waited a long time to get one because I was thinking of self hosting, but I am unable to do that for now, so here it is, hosted by hashnix.club.

I am going through *a lot* of really unpleasant stuff right now, and I am feeling very fragile. I do not know what to do with myself, so I guess it'll be just existing for a while.

And just like that, I am in Poland again. I had a very full day yesterday, including a birthday party and finishing Tomb of Annihilation with my D&D friends, then basically no sleep, then a somewhat long trip during which I was only half awake. And now I am here.

Which web browser should I use? I am using Duckduckgo on Windows and Android, and Firefox on Linux, but I am not happy with either. I am not a fan of Chrome or chrome based browsers and don't want to use Brave so... 🤷 (I do actually use Lynx often, but it can't work for home banking and such...)

Another year, another trip around the Sun for me. These old bones definitely feel the journey, but I am happy!

Burnout for me right now means I am stuck between wanting to make something, and drawing a blank as my creativity well is completely dry.

Any Kindle owners over here? On February 26, Amazon will remove the option to download your ebooks for USB transfer. I recommend backing them up and using Calibre to deDRM and export to other formats. I bought my current Kindle in 2017 (I think? It's a paperwhite something). I will not replace it until it dies, but when that happens I will definitely not go with Amazon again.

I am in the UK for a work trip and I am frigging cold all the time. The aircon is on everywhere: in the office, hotel lobby, restaurants... It's *winter*. Why? WHY?

Hello from Warsaw!

Happy belated New Year to the fine people of Station! I am writing from a train headed to Frankfurt. I will stay in Germany briefly and then head to Warsaw again for a bit. Then back to Italy, then immediately off to the sunny (???), merry (???) city of Milton Keynes. Currently waiting for the UK govt to make up their minds if they need me to fill in a UK ETA or not, and pondering exactly what advantage they think an ETA actually achieves, other than inconveniencing people further.

I am exhausted. After a full day of work I now have a birthday party, d&d session and early flight tomorrow. On the plus side, if I survive I will be in Warsaw in a few hours!

One trait of my character I am trying (and failing badly) to improve is that I can't let go of things and I can't leave them. It's like having something weird in one tooth and your tongue keeps touching it. This is really awkward if I am interacting with someone who needs space when something happens (that space and the silence are torture to me and it's hard to wait). Or if someone says something at work which is not an accurate interpretation of what happened, I have to speak up, even if correcting things is completely inconsequential. I know speaking up is useful, but sometimes letting go is also good and I just... can't.

Last day in Warsaw. I will leave for the airport tomorrow at 5.30. Looking forward to seeing and hugging friends and family, but sad to leave and go away from my partner. I hope to be back in December though, so quite soon.

Uncomfortable words I wish I had heard sooner in my life: perfectionism is fancy procrastination and people-pleasing can be an act of manipulation.

First day in Warsaw. The weather was lovely and I walked more than 20K steps. Today was dedicated to just walking around the city and figuring out good areas for an apartment. Tomorrow is supposed to rain: good day for a museum visit.

I see myself and my past with much more clarity now. I don't think it's just hindsight (some of it, yes, for sure), as I have recently felt like I finally found myself. Or... this is a midlife crisis. Which I wouldn't necessarily see as a bad thing: I worked hard to get where I am, I can finally do stuff I couldn't do when I was young and too busy following other people's rules.

Medical check up tomorrow. Anxious.

I have a really long day ahead, so of course I have been woken up by uncomfortable dreams 3 hours before my alarm would ring.

Such an intense work week! (I know it's only Tuesday, but it feels like an entire full week has happened). And I booked two therapist visits, one dinner, one D&D session, a COVID vaccine and a bunch of screening medical exams all before the end of the month. During which time my partner will move to Poland and I need to plan a visit to family in Germany and a visit to our UK office in the Sunny (not really) Milton Keynes.

I long for Autumn: the cold breeze in the morning, quiet evenings, the trees looking all shades of red and yellow, drinking tea and wearing oversized hoodies and comfy socks.

New phone is here. Setting it all up was *tedious*. I hope this lasts me at least 5 years.