16/01/26 - talking about our dog

i'm not completely sure what i want to write, it's more so that i wish to write 'something' since it's been on my mind for months that i would like to start writing posts about whatever i feel like and making it available on gemini etc. right now it probably wont show on gemini but thats okay, i will solve it later. the main thing on my mind right this second is that i miss our dog, late in his life he became known as dogdog - this is a cute name we felt and liked a lot. this came about during a panic, he had to be hospitalised due to inflating to the size of a beach ball and being incredibly firm; it was bad enough that he struggled to breath during the journey to emergency vet, so i held him upside and whacked him until he released some fluid and air. we learned he had bloat and it can be quite dangerous. at some point that night i tried to call him by his name but had a bit of a brain fart and called him dogdog. the name stuck. my partner has been in germany recently so it tickled us to call him hundhund and he seemed to like it too, so that was really fun. he had a couple of instances which seemed akin to a stroke, the first time he struggled greatly at first but improved significantly within a couple of weeks - even was able to fly to another country and was very well despite still having some deficits relating to it. he was still circling a lot and just generally a bit more anxious that he had been previously. over the following weeks we were able to help him with guiding him on walks etc to reduce his need to circle. he still did circle but he could walk quite far (tens of meters) before needing to do it once. he was still incredibly happy and chill, no trouble whatsoever, never really barked - could count a few times max. an incredible, kind, intelligent, loving, patient, friendly, and loved boy. the deep hole that resides where he once occupied every day is with us both everyday and we miss him so very much. it's only really been 1 week since his passing - we still keep expecting to see him. he would walk over to me and tap me gently with his nose, when he needed something, and it was endearing and one of my fondest memories. # porky is a good boy - we would sing this to him repeatedly because we wanted to ensure every day he knew he was a reallllly good boy and he deserved praise for it. we showed him so much love - he showed us so much love - i miss our boy. we deeply miss him so much. i may come back and edit this file but for now, this is as much as i feel like typing it out. i could say so much.