Slow Servers' Gemlog: Signup SSH Updates
Posted: 2026-01-29
One of the ways that you can sign up for Slow Servers is via SSH. You either have to have IPv6 or use the Tor .onion.
ssh signup@signup.slowservers.net
or
ssh signup@slowsvr7rgnkzuoma5byw34n2mkkg6v7g5q6qxqaihh7zikp5wn26fid.onion
The .onion should work, provided you have something like this in your ~/.ssh/config:
Host *.onion
ProxyCommand nc -x localhost:9050 %h %p
This signup script has leaves a lot to be desired. I decided to improve it some. Still has a long ways to go, but here's a trial run.
$ ssh signup@signup.slowservers.net
...Welcome to Slow Servers!...
New signup (in case you don't have any servers with us already.
----If you don't want to answer a question, just skip it by pressing enter.----
Have you read and do you understand the Acceptable Usage Policy?
Hint: You should probably read and understand it. Just because we accept Monero
doesn't mean that you can setup a phishing site!
Yes or no? Yes
Your randomly selected SSH username is: savorcentimeter
It will be used to SSH to this host, and to your VPS host(s).
Your default VPS login username is root, however.
Is that username okay, or would you like to roll the dice and try again?
Okay or reroll? reroll
Your randomly selected SSH username is: photolyzedepersonalize
It will be used to SSH to this host, and to your VPS host(s).
Your default VPS login username is root, however.
Is that username okay, or would you like to roll the dice and try again?
Okay or reroll? okay
Enter a public SSH key for use with this account.
You can generate a SSH key, if you don't already have one, with ssh-keygen.
ssh-ed25519 AAAAC3NzaC1lZDI1NTE5AAAAIDN+HDmi1xl59LT2ymfSv+rgHcrv26TSd7vpWE9NqY7i iforgotto@stripmysshcomment
Slow Servers Plans:
(Prices are if paid yearly.)
768MiB / 24GiB disk: $4.50/month
1GiB / 32GiB disk: $6.00/month
1.5GiB / 48GiB disk: $9.00/month
2GiB / 48GiB disk: $12.00/month
More plans can be found here:
gemini://slowservers.net
https://slowservers.net
What size of server would you like? 768MiB
Will you pay with Monero, Bitcoin, or Bitcoin Cash? Monero
Will you pay monthly or yearly? yearly
What Operating System do you want?
Options:
OpenBSD 7.8
Debian 13
openbsd
Would you prefer to install OpenBSD yourself?
If myself, install78.iso will be booted and accessible via the serial console.
This lets you control partion sizes.
Myself/preinstalled? preinstalled
What email address would you like this associated with?
This is completely optional and understandable if you don't fill it out.
It's just handy, for both of us, to have a communication means in case of
maintenances, outages, lapsed payments, etc.
nicetryfbi@cia.gov
Do you have any comments?
No.
What would you rate this signup process, 0-10? 0
Once you're all set, you can send a message through the customer shell
(which you get from ssh photolyzedepersonalize@slowservers.net) asking about DNS slave
services, SNIProxy, and/or a *.ssvr.net subdomain.
Your submission was successful!
If you provided a working email address, wait for an email with your invoice.
If not, periodically try to SSH to this server using the username above,
with the SSH key you provided.
Summary:
AUP: Yes
SSH key: ssh-ed25519 AAAAC3NzaC1lZDI1NTE5AAAAIDN+HDmi1xl59LT2ymfSv+rgHcrv26TSd7vpWE9NqY7i iforgotto@stripmysshcomment
Username: photolyzedepersonalize
Plan: 768MiB
OS: OpenBSD 7.8
OS Install: preinstalled
Payment Method: Monero
Payment Plan: yearly
Email: nicetryfbi@cia.gov
Comments: No.
Signup rating: 0
Filename 1769648719.txt
Connection to signup.slowservers.net closed.
Once you have an account, which is not instantenous, the customer shell looks like this:
$ ssh -i ~/.ssh/roflcopter-for-slowservers roflcopter@slowservers.net
...Welcome to Slow Servers!...
Account info:
Account information:
Account number: 10001
Servers:
On prometheus.slowservers.net:
potato:
Started: 2025-01-04
Expires: 4000-01-01
Plan: 768MiB
Message history:
Welcome to Slow Servers!
Usage:
sendmessage to send us a message.
exit to exit
sendmessage
Type your message and press enter to send it:
Is this thing on?
Message sent!
exit
Connection to slowservers.net closed.
There's nothing special about signup.slowservers.net -- it points to slowservers.net (same IPv6 address.) It just doesn't have a A record pointing to the SNIProxy IP on Freya. This would make things confusing if you didn't have IPv6, or if your system defaulted to IPv4.
If you just signed up and hadn't paid yet, you'll see an invoice when you log in. It might look something like this:
Invoice for potato on account 10001.
Created: 2026-01-18
Plan: 2GiB
Duration: One year
To be paid with: Monero
Monero to USD: Currently $595~
Send: 0.2420168 ($12 * 12 months = $144)
To: ----Monero address here----
If you want to pick your own username and make more specific requests, email is the way to go. Otherwise, signup over SSH should work for many.
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