12 Fifty

No, I'm not Fifty years old this week. I'm more and my birthday is during another week or month. But during this week, I was very aware of my Age and the fragility of the life. French actor Bruno Salomone died at 55 years old. A "very long disease" as we say in France, not to say Cancer. Another actress died at 67, a few days later. I can see more and more colleagues (everyone is more than 45 years old in the department) with physical or mental illnesses. My back is fragile, and I’ve always a mysterious underlying condition, with a medication at least once a week. Some have more severe illness like Crohn's Disease, for example. The change happened for me not far from my 50th birthday. And during last week, my wife fell down the stairs. Nothing broken, but I know (I did it 10 years ago...) how painful it is.

Yes, with statistics, everything is OK, life seems better and we live younger than before. But in the real life, statistics don't matter. I have seen many colleagues die before retirement and not from accidents. Heart attack, cancer, ... Many had worked in auto repair shops, in places where they were exposed to hazardous substances like asbestos and benzene. Some smoked or had smoked. It's difficult to say what is the root cause of that. But with more and more chemical substances around us, pesticides, PFAS, ... and less and less quality in what we eat, the trend is not to become older in good health now, especially for the poorest people.

I'm more than fifty and I'm quite happy with that. I've seen and made many things I wanted to. I'm not living in a country at war. I've not so much issues in life and my work is interesting, even if sometimes it's hard to manage. But who knows what will happen tomorrow ? It's not something you have to think about because you won't live normally. Each day is another day and I'm happy to have something different each time. My mother did repetitive things, as some of my colleagues and I'm trying to change that as soon as I can. I'm happy to be able to chose my planning, my activities most of the week. But I don't want to live 50 years more.

When I look back to the 70s, when I was born, many things were different. Some are better now, some are not. It'll be the same for the rest of my life. I'm pretty sure that the world will be more chaotic than in the 80s or 90s, even if we had wars in the world. Climate change is a too ignored challenge and my solution could be more radical than you think. 50 years are so tiny compared to the human domination on earth, and more if you look at the earth age. 50 years is so tiny if you are fond of History like me, or if you are interested in Genealogy. This blog is young and the French blog is not far from 20 years old. This one has become a diary, more intimate than before. I don't know how I'll be or it'll be in ...5 years. And that's good as that.

2Dɛ

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