>>> #771852 (745)
<coquelicot> after talking to this girl for a while
<coquelicot> i've come to the conclusion that she's into me
<theworstisover> a blind/deaf/retarded person could have told
you that
<coquelicot> well they should, because i think that would be
very comical to hear and watch

>>> #945194 (389)
<T> I couldn't decided what I wanted so I just got one box of
each type of fruit snacks, some gummy bears, and 5 pints of
americone dream ice cream
<T> When I went up to the checkout, the lady looked at me like
I was crazy after she finished ringing me up
<T> I'm not sure if it's cause I spent $100 on fruit snacks,
or if it was cause I had a sword
<T> Anyway, so I tie the bag handles around the hilt of the
sword, cause there's too many bags to carry, and I set off
down the road
<T> nobody tries to stop me
<T> I get about 3 of the 6-7 blocks towards home down when a
police cruiser pulls up beside me and tells me to put
everything down and put my hands on my head
<T> Luckily, as I've said before, the cops in the UC/Converse
area are cool as shit
<T> It's only SAPD that sucks
<T> So the first thing the cop says is "Is that a weapon son?
", to which I reply "It's a sword, officer"
<T> So, I reply "No officer, I just wanted some fruit snacks."
<T> Now he's really giving me a look, and puts his spotlight
right in my eyes
<T> He says "Are you high son?"
<T> "No officer, just a little drunk."
<T> He's like "Alright, well since you've been honest with me,
let's get you home. Let me see your ID."
<T> So I give him my driver's license, he tells me to hop in
the back, and he takes me to my house and drops me off
<T> I ate an entire box of fruit snacks in the back seat of a
police cruiser
<T> He even let me keep my sword

>>> #30045 (205)
<Grim> <chikster> fuck a pole
<Grim> *** [#geekissues] No users matching *.pl found on
channel.

>>> #40380 (228)
<Zeuxy> I have to take all the dead small children out of my
walls.
<Zeuxy> Cable guy's coming on monday.
<Kayin> Zeuxy: so you're a pedonecrophiliac?
<Zeuxy> Kayin: I never said I fucked them.
<Zeuxy> .. well.. just the chicks
<Zeuxy> But usually while they're alive
<astral> 'usually.'

>>> #37462 (1464)
<blazemore> my brother is in a quake3 clan
<blazemore> and he had a ctf game tonight
<blazemore> and like
<blazemore> we were walking out of tilt
<blazemore> his friend goes "dude hurry up, you're gonna be
late for you clan meeting"
<blazemore> and these black guys were walking by
<blazemore> and looked like they were about to kick our asses

>>> #52577 (290)
<DrkNrg`> i once knew a man who took some acid and he thort he
was a fire engine, it was kinda funny until he pissed on my
lighter

>>> #3290 (365)
(^NaKeD^) snowburnt....my bf is a million times stronger than
me
(snowburnt) Naked: but smell isnt everything though :/

>>> #414591 (-370)
[jbroome] mandrake 10.1 Community is available for download
for the
common folk now.
[ jbroome] 'careful though, it's French
[ admiralfrijole] damn frenchies
[ jbroome] in installed SuSE on my network and the mandrake
box
surrendered
[ admiralfrijole] sheesh...terrible
[ jbroome] are you shitting me?  That's comedy gold right
there
[ fatstrat] ROFL!!!!!!!  love it!

>>> #10025 (1364)
<a_passerby> I want a :D drive instead of a D: drive

>>> #820585 (3256)
<ndruo> i'm usig my onscreen keyboard
<ndruo> i's very triksies
<ndruo> he ltters re vry mall
<NeroMan> Translation: The letters are very small.
<ndruo> this will enhance my FPS skills
<SuperJoe> What's the translation for that?
<NeroMan> Translation: This will enhance my sexual ability.
<ndruo> i hte you.
<ndruo> GOD
<NeroMan> Translation: I love you, GENERAL ZOD
<ndruo> iffclt is this
<ndruo> :(
<NeroMan> Translation: This is difficult to the point I am
saddened
<SuperJoe> General Zod is pretty cool, I'll admit.
<ndruo> 8=======D translte this
<NeroMan> Translation: "My penis is small enough that I can
make a life size depiction of it using IRC text."