Why do kids get all the cool stuff?

2025-08-13

A rant about stuff for kids being interesting and stuff for adults being dull. I'm an adult and I don't want dull stuff!

Bike helmets

I was recently shopping for a new bike helmet. It struck me how utterly plain the ones for adults looked. Black, white, maybe a high-visibility fluorescent yellow.

But the shelves with the kids' helmets? Oh boy. They get helmets in a whole bunch of colours and patterns. Some even have attached cat ears or spiky mohawks! I'd totally wear one of those if they fit me. It would look garish and I would be proud of it.

Novels

Going through garage sales and local book stores in the past year, I've noticed that novels for kids (but not "young adults") often have covers that prominently depict the characters in the story. But for grownups, covers pretty much never do that. It's just some illustration of a bridge or a starry sky or something like that. I don't find that type of cover all that poignant.

Yeah, don't judge a book by its cover, sure, but why am I supposed to buy this book by an author I don't recognize? And the cover is a picture of just a necklace? And the back is just quotations of people saying "It's good, read it"? Nothing about this book is compelling me to read it!

How did the metagame for novels for grownups end up like this? Movie posters and DVD covers generally know to feature the main faces and elements of the story. Imagine if that Sonic the Hedgehog movie had a promotional poster that was just a red shoe on an abstract background.

What cool things do adults get to have?

band shirts?
stickers on laptops?
beer cans with funny art?
a spoiler on a commuting car?

Come on.

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