Meditation Diary

24-01-2025 didn't quite manage to meditate today. stayed up way too late trying to solve some issues on a coding project and by the time i noticed the time it was already well over 1:00, i at least tried to for a bit but the tiredness made it way too hard so i gave up after 2 minutes.

23-01-2025 things felt slightly different today? like there were some small glimpses of clarity of mind that immediately went away when i noticed them. there was also a moment at the end where i thought and felt some stuff that i felt like i had gotten numbed to years ago, but in a way i have no idea how to tell if it was because of this meditation thing or if it is somewhat of a placebo thing? might also try this out in the morning after waking up instead of just before going to bed to see if it has any noticeable effect in my actual day

22-01-2025 trying to focus felt way harder today than in the last 2 days, probably because i went into it while my mind was significantly more stimulated. spent the first maybe 15 minutes just thinking about the ending of John Carpenter's The Thing. after a while i started to feel like i was so still that i could feel every small movement of my body that i generally wouldn't notice and that felt pretty nice at least.

21-01-2025 today is my second day trying out meditation. im still not quite sure what to expect or even what to look for. im going into this without really looking up external guides in part because i think that if the benefits truly are as universal and fundamental as people claim then i feel like they should be replicable without external validation.