I need a haircut

2025-09-17

I need a hair cut. I was supposed to get one today but it's 5 and I have meditation tonight. I suppose there is time but I need to write this right now instead. My brain is making up excuses. There is time.

The anxiety has been strong lately. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow but women on the mind really messes with me. At least I did go shopping, got the dog food, and I should be good for a while. Turning to food as refuge rather than Buddha/Dharma/Sangha though. Not sure what to do about that. Maybe I'll look for guidance tonight. Feeling heartburn right now, misery of my own making. Was hoping to feel confident tonight to ask her out, but now I feel like garbage. Why do I do this to myself?

What else, what else? I need to spend less time online. This doesn't count because it's practically a text editor. I guess technically it is a text editor. But less phone, less porn, less doomscrolling. More deep breaths. More swimming. More additions to the capsule. Who knows, I may take the time to tell haters to pound sand. That's right, if you're someone reading this and I'm boring you, that's on you! Why would you subject yourself to this? It's "To Himself" for a reason damnit! Odds are no one is reading this, but it's like that old "I know you're listening" XKCD comic, right? Might as well do it sometimes. For the halibut.

One productive thing that happened yesterday which I forgot to write about is that I made some progress on the self-compassion metta front. All beings want to be happy, when I am suffering I want to be happy, and that is self-compassion, therefore I have that goodness nature inside me. So do you!