Kris Straub occasionally writes posts like fake IMDb pages which he calls "Saw it for you". They are very good. 

Here's my attempt, for Kraven the Hunter (which I haven't seen).

Kraven the Hunter

Tagline

This guy knows Spider-man

Content Warnings

Every character with a speaking role has their nose bitten off by Kraven.

In accordance with the stipulations of his Morbius multi-picture deal, Jared Leto appears fully nude in a post-credits scene. 

Goofs

Much of Russell Crowe's dialogue is made up of lines from A Beautiful Mind but in a Russian accent.

Although Aaron Taylor Johnson has been enthusiastic about the film in promotional material, he can be heard audibly sighing at the beginning of every scene, and is sitting on the floor for most of the prison escape sequence.

The production hired female cast members and they were present on set, but director J. C. Chandor forgot to shoot all of their scenes. 

In the jeep chase, Kraven is seen biting off the mercenary's nose three times. In the previous scene it was clearly established that the mercenary only had two noses.

Deleted Scenes

Kraven wakes up on a beach. He is lying face down and is naked. A seagull has defecated on his buttocks. The removal of this scene, for time reasons, renders some of his father's earlier dialogue less meaningful.

Dustin Hoffman and Cuba Gooding Jr. make cameos in a deleted scene, reprising their roles from the 1995 film Outbreak. They explain that all films that don't feature Spider-man take place in the same cinematic universe. 

International Releases

In the UK release, the lion who bleeds into Kraven's open wound, thus giving him lion powers, is voiced by James Corden. In the US release the lion doesn't speak.

In the Chinese release, Kraven explains that his lion's insight also gives him clarity on territorial boundaries in the South China Sea.

Quotes

Kraven: "After I came close to death, a drop of lion's blood fell into my open wound. I was infused with the strength of a lion and the instincts of a great hunter."

Starbucks cashier: "...Do you want a coffee?"

~

Kraven's father: "I am very disappointed in you, my son. I predict that you will have seagull poop in your butt and you will get power of seagull. You will be able to steal top bun of burger of customer leaving Burger King and escape to pick at bun on street. I predict this with theorem from game theory using my beautiful mind, nyet?"

~

Kraven: "I wish to hunt the most dangerous prey of all - a man with the proportional strength and speed of a spider! But no such man exists in this universe... though many people exist who seem like they would know such a man..."

Starbucks cashier: "Please stop coming here! My supervisor thinks I know you!"

~

Lion (UK only): "Have a drop of this then my son, oy oy, good for what ails ya!"

~

Morbius: "Kraven! Only you can help me. Someone stole all of my clothes!"

Kraven: "Why would I help you, vampire?"

Morbius: "Because... the person who stole my clothes seemed like someone who might know someone with the proportional strength and speed of a spider."

《Madame Web enters》

Madame Web: "Web to meet you."