The real Chris Osburn is in this space.

(You are warned.)

So, I'm this guy, right? I'm old. I've done stuff. Today I'm a bus driver. Before that, I was a programmer/barista/network manager at a large internet cafe. Before that, I was in Windows application hell. Before that I was doing database work in a fourth-generation language. Before that I was in college. Before that I was unemployed. Before that I worked at a company that made encrypting modems and office automation software. Somewhere in there I was in the Marine Corps. Before that I went to a high school that was a vocational school on steroids. Somewhere in there I was a camp counselor that taught astronomy. Before that I was in middle school. Before that I was in grade school. Before that I was in kindergarten. Before that I was torturing my new little sister. Before that I learned how to read. Before that I stood up in my crib and sprinkled baby powder all over the place. Before that, presumably, I was born.

Right now, I'm drunk.

Peace out, man!

Reference material

Writing samples

(A paper I wrote as a college sophomore that was later taken up by the Duodecimal Bulletin, Volume 4X; (58.), Number 1, Whole Number 98; (116.), Year 11E5; (2009.)). 100K PDF

A random selection of thoughts.

Extreme Contactability

(No guarantee on response times!)