Mourning houses

I don't believe those people who say they always hear their thoughts as words

I've been going through memories of each house I've been in my childhood. What would be the sounds for that?

I wish I could go back and see them again. Alone.

I would just stand there and walk around the empty rooms.

And then I don't know. I can't cry anymore. When I go to a certain emotional level, the emotion just stops existing.

I have nothing to do there, why do I want to go back? I wasn't even happier back then. Most of my thoughts towards the past are regrets.

I wonder if it is the same force that pushes people to visit cemetaries or attend funerals. Just standing around with their useless arms and stupid legs.

Does it actually makes people feel better afterwards?

Revisiting my old school didn't really do much. I think the only satisfaction I got from it was that I had actually done something I wanted to do.

Sometimes I think about the two girls in a Terry Pratchett novel who went back and burned their schools. These places break people. It's insane that it's not happening more often.

Oh, that's a house I didn't want to think about. I actually dreamt of living there at some point. I still remember the smell.

No I don't. I remember how remembering the smell made me feel. I forgot the smell.

When I left my last house, I felt like I had to mourn it. I looked at the garden for a few seconds.

I just pressed on and filled my stuff in the truck. Back then I just thought it was sad that I didn't have the time.

Now I wonder how I would have mourned the house. I can stand there but it does nothing.

I wonder if there is still some wood from the old cherry tree. I kind of want to feel its bark again.

If there is some, I think I'll take it and keep it with me. It should fit in most bags. And then I can touch it again if I want to feel sad for some reason

If there is none, I either need to find another idea really fast, or just do nothing about it

Why are things like this

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