11/20 - @everyone thanks for your feedback re: dirty undies. i go without, or will wear my swimsuit (bikini bottoms). i am always surprised by the answer to “flip them around” (no judgement) as maybe i am a uniquely discharged individual. sending love to all my friends who need to do laundry <3

10/4 - @batfaced 1) agreed re: difficulty forming close relationships to cis men, even for me (a man who has passed as cis for the last decade). for me there is like a misrecognition between us where they think i am “like them” (patriarchal, misogynistic, careless, thoughtless, selfish, etc)…. as you can see, the ways i would describe “how men are” is not how i would describe myself. so there’s always some gap there. for me the gap is actually worst when it’s a friend’s boyfriend tho! 2) also same re: relationships vs being single. so that is great to hear that that is the case for you, too. the ways i have grown & changed & the things i’ve achieved since i broke up with my ex are things that would’ve been completely impossible if we had still been together. i gave them quadruple the time & energy & care i ever gave myself (my relationship was 8yrs & also the whole of my adulthood…) i feel i have been able to find more wholeness in the past year, building out the parts of myself that i had put away or refused to look at. i hope you have had a similar experience!

10/4 - @punkreflex yes to guitar hero club. yes to sufjan expressing something deeply spiritual while still making enjoyable & fun songs. sometimes he’s talking about god without talking about god. john darnielle of the mountain goats does this too. i think about this quote from him introducing one of his songs:

"The thing is, the Satan I hail is Jesus Christ himself, buddy. He’s the one who will bring you liberation from the people who try to stand between you and the things you dream about. I don’t care what you call him. I don’t care what he looks like on the black velvet paintings that’s God... That’s God!” https://ia801600.us.archive.org/16/items/mountaingoats2011-04-08.mix.flac.16/mountaingoats2011-04-08t22.mp3

8/21 - @caleb thank you for your gender post! for a long time i thought being a man meant not caring how you looked, dressing ugly, & a general sense apathy. but i like being a man who wears cute outfits & bright colors & is easily excited & happy to show it. all that to say, i think you would rock a pair of earrings <3

8/21 - @gaysex-malibu re: journaling positive vs negative… i tend to write whatever’s happening in my life & my outlook tends to be positive. but my sister’s journal is a collection of all the worst things she’s ever felt & every bad thing that has ever happened to her. which is to say: use the journal however you’d like, in whatever way is useful :)

8/10 - @blueplanet thank you for linking your spore account <3

8/9 - thinking about @blueplanet’s three part post about gay friendship & sex. some gay people i know start almost all their friendships via sexual relationships. that’s not my reality. i understand @blueplanet’s disappointment around the sometimes immediate (one-sided) sexual energy of a social interaction between two gay people. unfortunately i do think i find it easier to make a more meaningful social connection if i approach other gay people as if there were potential for sex (even if i don’t want to pursue it)…

7/31 - @blueplanet !!! hi & welcome if you see this… i want to read andy grace’s depressing nested poem about addiction in the midwest…

6/18 - @punkreflex if i go to cbgb then yes i will let you know the lineup etc! if i don’t go then i won’t </3

5/30 - @evilswampmonster re: “not making the decision makes the decision for me” — often i find that when i feel that way, it means it would be more fruitful to make the decision that requires work/choice rather than letting theother thing happen… hope things work out well either way!

5/19 - @evilswampmonster very much agreed! pls come back to pinball club!

5/19 - @evilswampmonster i am home!

5/18 - @punkreflex thank u i’m feeling it ;-;

5/14 - @pupdog01 even tho it feels unbearable, your desire for horror shows how much you’ve made your life more safe for yourself lately… proud of you & proud of you & breaking the cycle. & like you said, it will settle soon & you’ll feel safe in the safety… sending eternal love for always & forever <3

5/14 - @bigassbug ADVICE (not that you were seeking it) but here are my words: it’s not at all selfish to need time alone. thinking of your post about self care in relation to your post on self-centeredness. for me, i try to keep at least one day a week without plans or obligations, just to sit alone. or sometimes the plans are to take myself out for coffee or go to a museum or something. i think it’s healthy to make time for yourself, with yourself, to pause or reflect. i find it’s easy for me to give to others but hard to give to myself & maybe we are similar in that way. kind of like what i said to shiba below about “treating yourself like a friend” — make time for yourself like how you make time for your friends! advice i once heard was: “your relationship with yourself is the longest relationship you’ll have, so it’s important to tend to it” <3 ilysm i hope you get a solo evening soon!

4/21 - @pupdog01 loving your post about friends-as-lovers intimate relationship polyamorycore. you treat your friends as life-partners & i love that! that all resonates with me too in the ways that i like to go on friend dates that in some ways blur the lines of what friendship/ the feelings i have for the people i’m closest to are like this profound unending love

4/16 - @pupdog01 i am moved to tears by your post (classic flounder user @james behavior). you rock so hard. all i can think about is how you are a loving & attentive friend to others & because of that, i hope you can be a kind & caring friend to your self as well… & i’m seeing this happen for you in real time which rules!!! most of all i don’t think it’s awful to let god’s light shine on you the same way you shine it (& see it shine) on others. my dream for you, as you surround yourself with people who reflect your endless love back to you, is that you continue to see yourself as your loved ones see you <3

4/1 - @punkreflex here’s the link for the us women’s soccer vs china match tickets!