Type in

How secure is a zeppelin bend

and every fucking result is

how to tie a zeppelin bend

and none of them have any information on how secure the knot is, except to say that "the zeppelin bend is a secure...." etc.

That's fine, if the phrase I had entered were

how to tie a zeppelin bend

But it's (k)not. So, I put the whole thing in quotes

"how secure is a zeppelin bend?"

and this fucking pile of mummified dinosar cock has the audacity to tell me that there is not a single result that includes this phrase. Really??? all 6.6 testillion websites that your shitty crawler has indexed include that phrase exactly as quoted??? let's set aside for a second that this would not give me what I was looking for anyways, because it was a poor choice of words and that's obvious in hindsight but I made the query in desperation ebcause I am so fucking tired of 1, getting an entire page of results with the exact same title across (allegedly) different websites and 2, getting a page of results that is not what I searched for. And not in a "I don't know how to properly word a search query" way, which may be true, but in a way that not only doesn't give me what I want but which seems to only be taking the instructions as presented as a stern suggestion and going off on it's own bullshit trying to give you what it "thinks" you want. This is not only fucking stupid, it goes against the very foundations of user interaction, which is that the computer does the instructions, as presented, whether they will produce the desired output or not. It is then up to the user to make the proper adjustments and try again. This fuzzy inferential bullshit[1] is exactly the type of thing that a computer should *NOT* do.

So, I have somehow reached the end of the internet, a thing that used to be a funny joke that nerds made, and my computer has developed an opinion on how it thinks I should use the internet. I fucking hate every fucking thing about this situation and I hope the fuckfaces responsible for bringing this bucket of cockroach terds to fruition face a military tribunal in my lifetime.

I sentence you to immediate decapitation and no dessert ever again

• [1]Of course, at it's root the computer is not doing fuzzy inferential bullshit; it's running the program exactly as it has been instructed to do so. The problem is that the result of that operation is, to the outside observer who has no way of ever knowing the internal state of the thing, indistinguishable from fuzzy inferential bullshit