2025-08-29

Taking care of myself, of sorts

A few days ago I quit my job. I'm 62 and two years ago I would not have given this outcome much thought. But here we go.

The point I would like to make is this: Take care of yourself, because noone else does.

How can I know that it's time? I did develop health symptoms:

• My existing tinnitus got noticably stronger. It displays itself a a few tones at high frequencies --- much like in the old days when a television would emit a whistle like tone at 15.625 kHz.
• My permanent pain (muscles and joints) got noticably stronger. Its existence goes back some 5 or 6 years, but it became stronger this year. This goes along with my general fatigue. Neither do I use my bicycle any more nor do I engage in walks of more than say 5 km.
• My sleep is not pitch black night any more. It used to be like that from closing my eyes until shortly before the alarm would go off. But nowadays I wake up several times during the night.
• I do eat more than I should, my weight remaining maybe 10 kg too high.
• My skin is reacting, too, but it is hard to describe.
• And just before I decided to quit, my stomach would ache just a little bit once in a few days --- something that is completely foreign to me.

And strangely the day I made the decision, I slept much better.

So, I believe that my body told me for maybe a year, that the situation had become unsustainable for me. And that is pretty much, what I told my managers manager. I'll be out by December.

I am painfully aware that going this route is not for everyone at any time, I have been in that situation, too. But physical symptoms are not going away without changes.

My managers? Well, well. They face this uncomfortable lesson: As long as people are doing the work, they are dependent on these very people, no matter what. Of course, every position can be filled again, but it likely takes some toll.