╒═════════════╗
│ hisacro's ╔╣ ╓───────┐
│ Sracpebo╳ ┊╠═══╣ Ascii ├─m─┬─m─────────Partner in Den───╖
┕────────────┊╜ ╙─+ures─┘ │ gemini://displ.nl/golu.gmi ║
┊_ _ ├────────────────────────────╜
·¯ `·. │ ┌──Links─────────────────────╖
` ¯ ` . _ '· ╘══┤ gemini://displ.nl/list.gmi ║
` ´ └────────────────────────────╜
12-12
Finally it happened, pseudo knowledge and time. What a way to get a re
ality slap. One truth is I cannot deny anything! it's so bad. I haveto
change myself or I will rot in dire vain. I have speak to my parents a
bout the status as well.
12-09
Looking back, I have done atleast one terrible thing to most of my fri
ends. The more close they are to me, the more I have done. This is mos
tly in the way of ignorning. In golu's case, it's the worst!
What am I doing? why it's so hard to talk? a haunting memories of tha
t one gwyer evening strikes me.
' ' . "
dishoom ` o__ o>
dishoom |/ /|
dang l - >
12-06
I shouldn't have dung, but why this has to still go on? how much re
sources needs to be sucked? Why there are stains in the middle of now
here mountains. Let the peace be upon on Bastar and Sukma districts of
CG.
My ignorance is bliss, I came so close to witnessing these with my two
eye if not for a slight shift of trajectory. Pinging Golu the Gulk her
e.
12-04
The one things I learnt this year is, growing to play along a joke, in
stead of countering it. Life is so much easier that way, today's incid
ent was an example. The search I had to do is within myself instead of
somewhere else.
I changed the terminal & gtk theme to be plaster colored.
12-01
A sudden gust of a memory from 2016 31st December wiped me today. The
trigger was a talk I saw on yt. This memory was also the first entry o
n my physical for the year 2017. I remembet scribbling it down with a
piece of pencil. So this happened during one of the short town bus tri
ps, usually at the time I was on bus only for longer journeys never th
e inter town/city. So I was shifting few things out and thought good i
dea to go for bus with the luggage, and so I happened to meet a old la
dy sitting next to me. She was curious of my weird baggages for the su
per trip, I explained the situation. As the conversion was building up
I came to know he ran away from an old age home, that confirmed my que
stion of no footwear on her despite very pristine sense of dressing. I
knew there was slide slippers packed on the first zipper, It was a fav
ourite one of mine and planning to give it away to her. Just before I
was processing in my head, it happened so quick and bus has already re
ached my stopping, I hastly pulled all the bags over and waved a sad g
ood luck to her!
To this day I regret not handing that footwear. Memories are haunting
even after 10 years! I pray that she managed to meet her son family a
nd parted with a great smile.
11-27
It's getting hard to find smol webservers on gopher as well as gemini
Most of the people oon my bookmarked list have been sucked into void
infact some recent ones on the displ.nl/list.gmi as well.
I was going through approximation techniques in DFT and came across j
acob's ladder. It's a metaphor to biblic scripture, now a quick websea
rch led me to an 1990 horror movie. Now I do want to watch it ;)
11-25
Compiling kernels to make my hand warmer (-_+
11-19
I have attended my first zen mediation hour today, interesting very
interesting but it just the hour flew in a minute.
I should work on my posture to sit pain free, rest was great.
11-18
So I have updated the gemini list that's on this page index, today wen
t bit fast than usual. I wanted to mention about the two manga that I
recently started following,
Fool Night - It's philosophy rich, turning human into plants to tackle
the situation where the solar energy is no more in future.
Gachiakuta - In the lower world where lateral begins dump the yunk, on
e can unlock the potential of the item that they have been carring for
ages, again futuristic, mystery ridden.
11-16
I write this as I'm feeling how I changed over past 3-4 years, I just
saw one another episode of 'Hands' documentary. Today it was bee keep
-ing, It portrayed day today life of the person based on Cork rather
than the art itself. I just couldn't grasp the language he was speakin
g! I feel my situation is similar as well, my way of thinking has chan
ged so much.
I was discovering way more with a low computing power, now this device
just killed my curiosity and searches, I have to go back to the way of
doing it right.
I want to explore new things more, I hate the way I'm using resources
as of now.
__
- |--|
- | | | |\ _
- _| () () | _,-"|
- (_) (_). (_) ,-.-.,,,,-"' +
| {---------------"+
|/ \ \ ,' / ; / 7
\ \ / / / 7
hisacro \ \' / / 7
drowns \ \ / / 7
\ \ / 7
\ \' 7
\ \-7
`-++
11-15
Elliott speaks to me, it's timeless doesn't matter how old I become
I miss playing music as well, there is no more peace on whatever I do
Someone found the future as a statue in a fountain
At attention, looking backward in a pool of water
.. .. .. .. ..
Everything means nothing to me, Everything means nothing to me!
11-11
How the days are flying off?
Want to share this song,
Ban heritage seeds and seed banks
Killing Joke Vagrancy is a criminal offence
War On Freedom Firing tear gas on reporters
Cyber tracking cyberspace
Where am I heading to? scary!
03-11
I'm really fortunate to be surrounded by great souls!
I did hurt Gulk for stupid reason, huge regret for it!
From this year, I want to re write daily logs on paper.
I pray for everyone's goodness. I'm moved by what m wrote here. Hope a
ll situations become handlable. Grateful.
18-10
Oh this is an unknow day!
14-10
I need to work on the getting something to theorize, I'm not thinking
enough to hypothesize.
05-10
Day shattered with a very little words, and that gets to influnce the
rest of the hours. I should really kept it to to myself instead of
showing in the limelight. It's about the end of today, and I'm unhappy
even after a great meal.
01-10
Feeling paranoid about all the things around me.
30-09
I want golu the gulk to succeed today! This will change trajectory of
everyone around her.
12-09
I was happy when I was uing links, playing with maxima, listening to w
eb radios on audaciouus, scratching my head while matching LISP bracke
ts, making pixel gifs in mtpaint, reading manga from lurk archives, re
cording basic tracks with the connected interface.
My life is upside down now! I miss that not so powerful OBSD X201, whi
ch forced me to changed due to being a instant heater. I had to use
packages to minimize the load. This computing cap did wonders on me, a
nd the way I inteeract with world.
Question is what's stopping me now?
11-09
Am I the only one visiting http displ.nl?
07-09
This is such a revealation! when using Vi mode in shell, pressing "*"
double times expands all the file names!
No need of shell looping anymore damn it! Example below, I'm trying
to move all the *9.png
$ mv *9.png /tmp/
but I want to make sure nothing else is misplace,
$ *9.png
now, go to vi mode and insert a "*" again at the start,
$ fi009.png imp_9.png fi029.png
It was cool find :)
06-09
Golu and my phone can ssh now.
Next up, I have finally have a logbook on displ. It's not hosted there
but from a 3rd party site.
28-08
Uncertainity is killimg me.
17-08
Days are fast! I wanted something simple, infact I initiated, but ther
e is no response for it. Thinking it's about to go.
10-08
This is something you dont understand, do you?
09-08
I came home wanting to write an entry on the http displ page. So I tho
ught I had kept T490 on my bag but I didnt, but I will to cobble up a
draft on this.
02-08
A song on the market made me remember a time, when I was learning guit
ar, reading manga, some unknown drive for science. I'm not in contact
with any of them.
In a different land, different sky.
28-07
I wanted to write on Friday but here we are. I have recorded on the ol
ympus dictaphone so skipped here. That was the day I figured a way to
bar the chords cleanly, no matter where on the fret board.
Next comes, saturday it was a busy day. I was going to places fixing u
p bike for people around me.
Finally the Sunday, planned a trip to Angel of North but changed about
a sudden home viewing (not for me), around 1/4 quarter of the loop , I
had this thought of what if! and suddenly I sensed a puncture. My thou
ghts are really powerful, especially my evil thoughts :/
Today, back door got stuck. Lock was behaving weird initially but shee
r force have always pulled it through but not anymore. I started late
because of it, switched on vaccum oven for electrodes. On the way back
I did the partial loop of initial plan, it was to a nearby IKEA. I hav
e to agree, if my ma happen to have acces to these - home would have b
een so modular. I bought ladda rechargable batteries, the cyberspace s
uggest it's rebrand of panasonice eneloop. Now batteries are all set f
or hitachi cam and dictaphone \o/
24-07
So I had the biggest smile today, it was last Friday that I met a pers
on while going to university. I was bit late and rushing for the meeti
ng. It was a small gulley way, a footpath but I use that to connect f
rom one road to another. It was nothing special. At the end of that da
y, I was late than usual and while reaching that gulley way, I met aga
in in the opposite direction! It was so coincidental same timings twic
e during the day!
It been few days now, I met on my way back. I responded with a smile,
to "how you doing :)"
22-07
I like this routine of cleaning, waking, working and taking a nap in b
etween, but I get stuck multiples times.
21-07
I saw a movie yesterday, it was Friendship (2025). I have been in the
state shown in that, in fact it has happened many times before I'm cl
osing the shell. It's when you are relectunt to open up to people but
once you do it weirds them out.
And I saw yet another TV movie from 2007, called Vaarthai illai. I wan
t to show this to my parents but anonymously sharring the link, it's h
as occured to me more than once. I want to screen this randomly to the
m :0
Two back to back visual, that made me drown in my thoughts.
19-07
Today was a rest day, I watched a really striking movie after a long
time, it was "The world to come". I sent a quote to gulk from it,
It's been my experience that it's not always those
who show the least who actually feel the least
It was gloomy here, and relying on the forecast I didn't cycle. It did
turn to be true, the showers throught the day. I have finally changed
the duvet cover after months, it is cotton with a grid pattern now, I
got it for half the price and in a size larger than bed - super king!
Only to realize there was a stiching defect on one of the corner. I ha
d needle kit I bought for fixing jacket tore when I wiggled while ridi
ng cycle so it was a quick saddle stictch to fix it on the inside out
portion. All set now, and nancy approved after a quick inspection.
Up for some adventures :)
18-07
So the weekly meeting, I have to lay the foundation again of the subje
ct. Too weak at the moment! Bought a calculator for 2 pounds, I had to
make sure twice that she is okay with selling ;)
17-07
I was thinking to write something here but forgot along the way and no
w I cannot remember a hint of it. Got stuck at sensing NMR sensitivity
I can clearly see some green gue leaching out of electrode but unsure
why that stupid magnetic isn't picking up!
16-07
Well well proposal got rejected :/ Anyways I was seeing a movie, "The
Unbearable lightness of being" but it seems to be a awful adaption
of the book. I will continue rest of it tomorrow. o/
15-07
I'm writing after a month!
yea I'm biking :)
14-06
So many questions at the middle of night, hope golu is well.
11-06
I'm lucky to have golu the gulk. Thank you!
Tha tha thaa ra, tha ra re ra.. Will play you, this week :)
09-06
I have finally added one more song to "Distorted Tamzil" playlist! It'
s been months. Need to strengthen my theory, working on my way.
08-06
Seems golu cannot write on gemini, wonder why?
31-05
First half of 2025 flashing between the eyes.
20-05
That's it, balloon in the head has bursted. Feels I'm losing it slowly
19-05
I'm far behind the schedule! So I made something that I felt really ta
sty, it was egged rice cake.
18-05
Today I went for a short cycle ride. Day was smooth. I wanted to write
about the trip on www titled "Wicked Ride: 101 guide". Next, by the en
d of the day, I came across polishing mud called Dorodango - thousands
ways to chill and invest on the time, indeed. Suddenly now I want a eg
g cup to peal it off in a fancy way.
17-05
Days are running fast again, at this point it feel stupid to complain
about it. Today was a rest day! Everything sorted with golu the gulk.
By the looks of it, she's back to form chugging a new hair, new places
new contacts. I tried to give rhythm for gazzelle she sang but Ardour
didn't pick up the laptop mic setup. A very peaceful day indeed.
14-05
I saw a documentary of Marvelous Hagler, it was boxing at peek. I'm un
sure how 2hrs of commentary went just like that. Lately, I'm yearning
for a lost cyberspace hole where I can crash at, while listening to da
rkwave radio stations, it's a long last cyber eden.
13-05
There is something wrong now. Right now. I took a cold bath after mont
hs.
.
o,`,
`\/\.
09-05
Ignorance is a Bliss.
Right, the deedum has an option to wrap different length of characters
It's just a double tap away.
06-05
What wall of trippy can do to you?
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|__
__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____
_____|_____+------------------------------------------+____|_____|__
__|_____|__| +---+----------=-----------+-----------+ |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| |_][_\ ,' \__][__][_/__][__],-][_| |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| |[__][\ / `....Y--+o_,.-'+'][__,+ |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| |_][__];-..Y\ /__][__],' ||_--'_| |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| |[__],'__][__`..'.][__],' ,b-.__][| |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| |_],/__][__][|' :`''|'`b /[__\[__| |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| |Y'__][__][__:---: | ;...o'._][_\],+ |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| | `.___][__]' \.-:. ,' \._.'/ | |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| | ,'''''''\, ,'[__][`. '-: | |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| | .' j''[__][__][\,..o-. \--+ |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| .-'_]\ / L_][__][_/][__][\ _,.i][| |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| |_][__| / \__][__`[__][_./'][__\_| |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| |[__][:'-''\ \.,-`--b][_,,P.[__][_\X |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| |_][,--.][__L.._ |_][__.|' `|_][__]/| |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| +-+' `._]|' `\A[__]/' \.o-'\ | |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| |[_\ /`' \ `|],Y\. / X| |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| |_][: || | ,''[__`b--'-\ ,+'_| |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| |[__+---\ `...'][__]['_][__]`+-' \[| |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| |_|/ `,,-' \____,\'][__][,' \| |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| +-+\ / ,`[__][__] .-' | |____|_____|__
__|_____|__| |__/__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][ |_|_____|_____
_____|_____| Stare at me, STARE? |____|_____|__
__|_____|__+------------------------------------------+_|_____|_____
_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|__
__|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____
05-05
Okay! waiting for gulk to catch up with me on gemini. I managed to set
up xearth on X280, Finally!! caught up with T430. Something with p5.js
was wrapped up today, going to be new adventure for both of us.
I had this stupid mango monster drink, it makes not to sleep, dummy ca
ffine to blame.
02-05
I missed many things to write here :/ So yesterday before sleeping
I stumbled on the blue led video, how it was made! there's some sort o
f a spark from the story that will inspire everyone, so does on me.
Things are very cloudy vague foggy right now, let's see how it goes.
25-04
Days are running so damn fast!
18-04
So I wonder, if staring at the matrix window will get you anything? If
it was me, I would just give it a call normally and resolve within an
hour. What does this tell me about this persistant behaviour, nothing
absolute nothing. Just stubborness. It's okay one didn't get a reply
for an hour, it's fine, 2 hours, 3 hours, 4 hours that's too much, I w
ould just given a normal call to resolve the matters and not make it w
orse.
17-04
I went to the group's drink meet, I had a orange drink with teeny tiny
percent (4%) of alcohol. Now if I think about it, the last time I had
alcohol was back in 2020 jan, right before the covid. It was a send of
f party, I gulped and slept on the mat. It's been 5 years! life has ch
anged so much, family has changed, found the person (touch wood).
Then a professor joined, he got me another strong pint oh oh. half way
through, I had felt it's kicking. Now I realized how to cope with the
cold cold weather ;)
It's true, if someone invites for a drink, just go ahead, it's a socia
l gather rather than drinking party. Ofcourse I could have had a water
and it's perfectly alright. All together I got to know the people well
friendly. Let's see where it goes, I spoke about laser gulk too! haha
16-04
Today, I got a severe back pain because of crashing randomly on the ma
ttress. Took a break. Finally I bid a x280 for 40ish. Day went by, two
omelletes and on. I got around to watch a movie called hangdog, it's b
een ages I have watched something smooth slice of life movie like that
Chronicles of Walt and Tony \o/
13-04
I realized I need a schedule, a proper one for a week to do things, ev
en to write on gemini here. Everything is going in a blink. Today I to
ok a cycle ride to the shore, an island. St. Mary's place, the road is
accessible during the first half of the day when tides are low but bec
omes an island during high tide. Almost 35km loop. And one more thing
I finally cooked something bigger, a rabbit (sorry golu, I know it's
not changu, this is wild hare). That's all it, I hope golu will find
the place soon, a peaceful one.
10-04
Today I gave the presentation, I was pretending to understand chemistr
y (-_- But the supervisors want something really fundamental and my th
eory on why that simple quinone works, which I realized far later. Whe
n the day was about to end, golu did something really stupid atleast i
t was too me. Oh I cooked tuna, potato, onion stir fry, a teeny upgrad
e with all the masalas. I'm the day with one of the weirdest movie I c
ame across, "Bones & all" leads are looking good, But is it freeky lik
e the book they based on?
09-04
Must be happiest day for Golu. I was happy hearing the news so does sh
e! after presenting the idea to caillean, Phd scholar I got that yeah
I can finish off mentality, let's see.
08-04
Already 8th, my supervisor wants what material to synthesis, I'm blink
ing now. As for cooking, I just cooked the first stupid meal, tuna+oni
ons. It took me 1.5 hrs! 1/2 hr of opening the can with that stupid bu
tterly can opener. Another 20 mins of searching for oil, in the end ju
st melted the butter and added to the chopped onions, Then comes that
stupid tuna, likely mercury poisoned (-_- I shouldn't call food stupid
oh sorry tuna (pointing to my tummy)
Butter -> half of one big onion -> tuna chunks -> 3 big bread loafs
How does it taste? It tasted? hot and strands were getting stuck on te
eeth.
The scapegoat, golu is missing! should have tasted this top notch food
Gulk manda!
06-04
Already a damn week, time is running so faaaast! I planned to read art
icles but couldn't progress. I was invited to cook and eat briyani, we
had good time cooking chatting, group of 8 people. My golu was there a
lone, starring at the ceiling and sleeping. Here I am :| same goes for
my ma pa and sister. Let's see where it takes me.
01-04
First day of the month, I bathed for 20mins. Felt really fresh. Found
the cat name is Nancy. Deadline is looming, started my first commute b
y cycle. Have to figure things now, stupidly shouted at Gulk, just re
solved now before sleeping. Let's see how it goes.
03-30
Finally A home! the silence here is really unreal but I have a company
The cat shown me around the home and garden, I totoally got when the l
andlord said how haunting it was. Golu is worried and lonely there but
she got an opportunity, I pray to my fullest that everything is for a
reason. Shown the home to my family and ofcourse golu. Let's see, prog
ess step by step.
03-29
I dont know if it's forgiving or not, but when ever I write something
here, it reminds me of those words. It's one of the issue when you are
said something about your space, I'm forcing the flow out. I should sl
owly not think about and be myself like previous, which I'm trying now
Today I have finally shifted home! a cat home with garden :) saw the p
arade for the first time! 1000 piece wasgij ppuzzle is killing me.
03-16
Writing here should be the most liberal I thought, but that incident w
ith golu is stopping me everything, why did she share that to me? it s
topped me sharring what I want to. I have many photos to share, I have
stories to share, I have checked out few of the things in my checklis
t which I thought I never will. Let's see whatt to come in future.
One thing, time is running so fast! in fact damn fast. I couldn't sp
eak to any of my close ones. It's naren birthday, realized after going
there.
03-12
Went for a viewing today, spareroom site sucks time. Should have done
agent wise from the beginning. Golu did a stupid act today of night bi
ke ride today. Couldn't speak to family!
03-10
Golu took a hiatus from geimini (-_-. Although things are scattered he
re, my trollys in one home, the charity cycle in another home, my slee
ping room is in another home; I'm getting home cooked meal and filling
myself up to the brim!
This stupid room hunting is still going on in vain. I'm not taking muc
h on the phone call to anyone, hope it changes when I get a space. As
for the lab, I'm noticing certain things - let's see how it goes.
03-09
I'm hurting golu the most, my partner in crime. Whole her home with ju
st the circles on roof, and emptiness. This shall pass and I want her
to look back proudly in future with me.
03-08
Is it end of the world, golu? All the efforts in vain? no one can cons
olidate you. I don't know to motivate.
03-07
damn! already 7th, without home.
03-01
Absolutely nothing. Oh miss this golu the gulk.
02-28
Nothing.
02-27
(
After yesterday I don't feel like ( ( )\ (
writing anything. )\))( ( ((_)))\
((_))\ )\ _ /((_)
(()(_|(_) (_))(
/ _` / _ \ | || |
\__, \___/_|\_,_| on
|___/ Fire
02-26
From the morning it was full of surprises, the place I'm crashing
is around 100 years old colony and I got lost navigating to the adjace
nt street. I offered to tag along post doc in the same lab, we got a
morning ride rather than metro! Next I have sorted out my ID card in l
ibrary. It was looking a mini town rather than university. Then comes
the lab parts, so far my work has been only theoretical, sitting infro
nt of *nix machines and chugging keys but this is full of huge machine
s, extreme battery testers, glovebox, punch cell manufacturing unit, c
athode, anode coating machines, electrolysizers, to be honest I don't
know anything about what any of these do! o_o
I have also met PhD scholar who I have to work along. My workspace is
not alloted yet but was given a temporary desk. Although I have alread
y entered the lab, to actually work I need safety training for which I
mailed the technical team. Rest of the day, all I did was reading lite
ratures from Lithium inventory. Oh the lunch, it was packed and given
to me. Then the day ended with a 10min metro ride, again I tagged the
post doc. Then there was a invite to nearby kid's birthday, it's custo
m if I might have to jab a guess since it's like get together of count
ry men. It was smooth, was treated with home dinner (rice is still in
my tummy). It was already 9, then I reached here, crashed.
02-25
Okay my first day stepping in the land of - I'm feeling Supersonic,
give me gin and tonic! how it feels? I'm seeing new things, this place
looks just like ireland semi countryside! I'm really fortunate that tr
avel went good as well the initial staying from the people from my own
state. Infact making myself too comfortable.
I will have to look around in upcoming weeks about the residence. And
today I experienced the greatest sunset from the aircraft window, glit
tering river and sea shore next to a almost country side airport and
peaceful metro ride later.
Let's see where the flow takes me.
02-24
From the morning I did leftover work for the manuscript. It kept me oc
ccupied. I know it's a bad thing to do! I spoke to family from pa's si
de as well as from my mother's side.
02-23
I have started late in the morning, there are regrets on the way. Firs
t thing is my body. Lately, I was feeling backpain and tiredness most
of the daytime. My sleep schedule is messed up, to top these off my
jaw were on the stage of dislocation due to my chewing habits on one s
ide.
I have to change this one by one, and have a routine to do days. Start
ing from the backpain, I have found a set of excersise called "The F
oundational training". It seems to be popular among surfers to repair
their back from the effects of prolonged posture. Secondly, I have to
take up cycling again. I have had enough gain from all the sides regar
ding weight and muscle when in home, so it's time to burn those in the
cold cold weather.
These are some my biggest regrets, I was thinking then sudden sleep we
pt me :/ couldnt drive much.
02-22
It's hard to think today is last day here in home. I have fed 3 doggos
to their content. Went to saloon for a hair cut, on the way back home
cycled a bit for a glass bottled drink then a visit to the local churc
h on the suggestion of Golu the Gulk. Grandfather visited me, grabbe
d few photos with them. When he was scrolling through my number on his
phone I realized one thing. Since my name is at end of the list on his
feature phone, he manually scrolls through A to M, that's almost 300
contacts! I can totally imagine his disappointment when I did't pic
k up his calls in the past.
Forgive me for that.
Yet to pack handle luggage.
02-21
What day was today! I tried sending the simulation, but I misunderstoo
d the subfigures that need to be generated. When I was trying to resen
it took me an entirely to align figures in Julia Makie. Painfull indee
d. Then radio controller has arrived with EdgeTX, I have slapped a bl
ack sticker on the back cover of T490. It was perfect camouflage (-_-)
Hopefully it was last dentist trip. As for golu I didn't spend time. M
y sister too, couldn't spend time. I came to the roof to track NOAA 18
Managed to setup up satdump packages that can decode on the live. No l
uck on the signal though.
5 mins to next day, tuned to the local radio. It's announcing the sch
edule for tomorrow. Currently I'm listening to antha naal song from a
movie - Athu oru kanna kaalam , picturation of it was great. Making me
tear up, I have lived those moments in my life and it's real. Only aft
er looking up, I realized it was the same director of movie - Veedu.
02-20
I have finally managed to capture NOAA - 19, 15 images! It was so fun
tracking satellites :) I have posted captures on - mas.to, although
recorded signal wasn't full I couldnt decode 2nd half of the image. I
bet golu is really interesting in these, second thing was, I nuked the
crdroid on the miatoll (initial had ubports) and giving it to ma. I'm
yet to debloat few things. Third, got a communication lesson from my
teacher Golu, it was bit intense one!
02-19
So, I managed to finally pack the things atleast one trolly for the up
coming travel. Printed out an antenna guider for listening at 137Mhz,
I should have played with these earlier, way earlier infact. I have in
stalled statelite tracking packages, NOAA - 15, 18, 19 are set. I have
to configure for Meteor - M 2, 3 which are recent, guessing it has mor
e chance to pick up.
Felt the rush nowadays! should have spent more time. I hope the rm poc
ket arrives before leaving (-_-.
02-18
Today I did the blasphemous thing! installed nvidia proprietary driver
It was initially just running integrated GPU, what's the naming conven
tion with "comet lake" bonnet blake. There's was an installation scrip
t, pulling the drivers along with that I pulled in prime for discretly
loading off packages to run on GPUs. Then cyberspace was suggesting op
timus-manager for switching between GPUs, I have yet to explore more,
check the power consumption with powertop as well as fps of package in
terface (with mangohud)
It's a pain damn it, I have to document somewhere.
02-17
In the earlier days of cyberspace when I felt down I used to listen
to interview of people from a yt channel. It's just an interaction, a
friendly talk sometimes with their siblings and family members too. It
connects to me because of my sister being one of the special needs per
son.
Today, I stumbled on the channel again. It was after a peaceful talk w
ith golu. Although I have to pack, finish off few pending things, I'm
feeling happy. There's family+m now to listen when I feel down. There
have changed from that time, when I tear up seeing those videos.
Hope we all go where the flow takes :) oh channel name is Special Boo
ks by Special Kids.
02-16
Seems golu's test went okayish, that was good to hear. I have currentl
got an urge to dive into world of FPVs. I have managed to make liftoff
simulator work on T490 (by my pirate duties) and looked into radios to
go with the sim. Let's see where it takes me. I have asked an irc frie
nd who introduced me into 3d printing about the radio I chose.
I was rode cycle for an hour and it folded again in my head. One of th
e was comming along throughout the ride, it was taken care by two of t
he kiddo brothers who used to visit me. This doggo that time used to
poke his head on the main gate, trying to enter. Now those kids have
moved to a nearby street and this doggo spotted my cycle + bell, came
along with me for rest of the ride till home.
This is the only doggo left, who recognized my bell and cycle :/ I had
tears on my face, when he was racing with me towards home. Two other d
oggos must be similing and waiting in rainbow bridge, hope I get to me
et them there.
02-15
I had a talk with golu in the morning, a good one :) Then some guests
have arrived in home, I tried my best to put a neutral welcoming face.
Rest of the day just went off after the put off manuscript meeting. I
visited a nearby temple with pa and sister, it been so long my memorie
s have faded. I remember seeing this temple when my school van used t
o drop me during 2007-2008. It was peaceful all together.
I wished for neutralness after all the conflicts or sudden pikes and o
fcourse for Gulk's test tomorrow.
02-14
What has happened for the past five days? I have finished the limbo
puzzle 2 days ago. It went so slient in the end, I guess this must be
it's 10 year anniversary also the start of hyped indie era. Next I cou
ldn't finish off fully my second manuscript, I'm in a confused state w
hat to talk to my supervisior.
Next thing, I'm feeling blank nowadays. I want to write here more and
read more of the gemini pages. Actually, having seen huge numbers toda
y in terms of funds for my upcoming travel. I feel shaken about it, be
cause I have the option to use that to settle at a spot that will sat
isfy me. This is one of the huge gamble of my life, actually not just
mine, my parents' too! It's their fund.
I have to try out new things every day, what I want to see me doing in
the next year this time? The thought is piercing me. I have ignored it
last time during my masters and here I am today. It was around this ti
me last, a professor has asked me what I want to do since we came from
the same state, my reply was I don't know what to do next! He was take
n back, because from what he has seen (law background) people decide t
he moment they enter a educational course, atleast the choices and pat
hways of next, he told me to come with different path atleast, which I
painfully tried (-_-
Am I going to end like that the same? consequence will be worse this t
ime though, it's going to affect all the people around me.
And then there are major chunks weighing in my head, what golu going
to do? what my sister going through? I'm comming up with many excuses
, that's for sure.
I want to write here something everyday from today 14th Feb to next
year 2026, what am I doing everyday.
Today, I figure xterm image support with sixel which trigged a whole f
ight and I hope it's ending with me writing here. I have moved away fr
om ubports after almost 2 years of daily usage (with 4 months of smart
phone hiatus). One word review - neutral, I was daily driving without
any side thoughts and ofcourse there were many headaches but I soon re
alized I dont need things that were limiting the usage. It was plain p
hone all together. Now I have switched to android on the same device,
I have re gathered the stupid android flashing resource again, and rev
erted back to crDroid - it's okay but do I really need a android there
time will tell me when to nuke it again.
Next thing is matrix clients, we have decided to switch over. Although
element-desktop was there on T490, I was experiementing with terminal
client named 'iamb' it's working as of now for doing essential things.
I have installed the package on rpi zero too, it was my first time try
ing out snapd packing system since I didn't have energy to compile the
rust library for arm7l.
What to tell next? we did see a Turkish movie called Miracle in the mo
rning.
02-09
I have so much going in my head and too invested in it, I want to let
it come all out but it's not happening - At the end of the day I'm fee
wasted without any progress. I wonder how long I'm going to continue t
this stupid act of mine, fakeness all over. Gemini here atleast should
be true but it's not, I'm not writing what I'm going through it pointl
ess to me to share that here or is it not?
I found my newsboat config file on my OBSD disk which I thought I lost
It really flooded my memories, the blogs, the yt channels, all those
During that phase of life, all I wanted is make me something worthy
to environment, people, animals, strays. I didn't seem much now, I rea
lly did a lot. Just by looking at variety of things I read I can under
stand. Will I ever get back to that self again?
02-07
As days go by, I feel really sad to recall what has happended during t
he day to write here. So I just exist.
02-06
My mind is blank now, what has happenend.
02-05
Golu is writing everyday here! today I sceret recipe briyani that's lo
cal to this specific place.
02-01
I saw golu post, that's damn moving. I cried a bit seeing photos it's
going to be even harder. I booked ticket, the numbers.
01-31
Think visa part is initiated wth success.
01-30
Today I managed to finish off huge chunk of writing in the manuscript.
My back was crying from 4am in the morning.
01-29
When is the last time I slept in peace?
01-28
I have to mention about briyani recepie now.
01-27
My throat is giving the sensation of sadness, yes it's the flow taking
me over, infact taking us over. I want to hear stories, experiences, f
rustations from golu, I believe there is something big acknowledging
her struggles.
01-26
Days are going useless, what have I become?
01-25
I filled that gap with composite filling - in dental terms it's called
as class II. I was asked to test it right after the proceduree, I ate
briyani with full of strands and yes seems like something inside /o\
01-24
Got the native Limbo game port working. Wondering when I can full fled
dged start on batteries.
01-23
Today day was mostly useless haha, goofing off here and there. There's
a chunk of chicken strand stuck on a gap between my upper cannine it's
bothering me from more than 6 hrs, feel like pooking a hole my jaw.
01-22
Made the first booklet of album with bookbinder and printed it out on
the home printer, it's b/w hp printer. I did setup cups on this laptop
but after upgrade cups is not recognizing the printer anymore. I dont
want to struggle again juggling foo2x drivers, so gave up and transfer
files to desktop (running a LTS kernal of past decade o_o).
The print turned out great, I was damn impressed how personal it was
flipping through our memories. I'm on a mission to improvise further a
nd make it more special for Golu \o/
I made rasam for the first time but it's just by using ma's spice box
so I'm not confident of making it from scratch maybe untill I own one
things might change, let's see.
One more thing that made me pick up the guitar for chugging (no string
s at the moment). It was song I saw on TV,
No Doubt - Hella Good
That initial churchy chug is enough to get me hooked through out the
song and video was very interestin too. I miss this good chugging ever
yday hope I get back to shake my wall before leaving home \,,/
I listened to it again now, damn how did I miss this bassline + synth.
Wanted to drop this name, the master mind behind the visuals,
Mark Romanek.
01-21
Today I made sure golu was smiling, I think she did! I'm compling an a
lbum of photos but wasn't able to finish by 12. Going through it made
me miss the time but I believe there's more coming in future.
On my side, I was able to grind rice batter, let it ferment over night
and make dosai from the it, so in future if nothing else I can atleast
eat this as a staple side keeping main dish as veggies or meat.
Recepie goes as,
* Take 2:1 cups of rice:black-gram, soak in water for 4-6 hrs
* Rinse off that water and refill with fresh again
* Start grinding the mix (not too liquidy) and add a tea spoon of sal
t to grind.
* Keep it overnight the mix to ferment (it will puff up)
* Time to make dosai/pancake-like out of it! Heat up the circular pan
garnish will oil drops and poof, make a circular motion of it.
01-18
It was stupid day! calling me names to acting indifferent to a good ne
ws. Turing over everything in seconds. And yes deadline looming over
too, can it get any better?
01-17
It's 4 in the morning, I woke up having a great train of thoughts and
so full of energy that I want to do everything now. How to ask out gol
u's family, my family all the process are trail running in my head.
Human mind is powerful, isn't it?
I read golu post, I knew it was pains but I didn't want to spell it
out because I have noticed right after asking about it, the pain inten
sifies. I'm so moved by the post, what I can assure her: You do it for
your family and satisfy them rest I will take hold.
This golu overthinks a lot, a common trait. During someone's pain one
cannot do anything, cannot feel anything so it's a loss-loss situation
"Hang in there", "it's alright", "distract yourself", I can keep going
on and on with words but it's going to frustate the person more who's
experiencing almost Misleading the intention.
Still Golu, hang in there bit longer. All for good and everything is f
it in within the flow.
01-16
I had this camphor discussions with my supervisiors, there were some
debates on live calls. Maybe I can write it off as healthy discussions
but damn I should really develop the communication/conveying skills. O
h golu did motivate me today, I'm curious what she's upto - getting a
plumber kit for cyberdeck!
Almost 2 weeks from now, golu has a test but it's more of mock one for
a main tests that are comming up. As for my process, for some unknow r
easons it's delayed. Hope all for good!
01-15
Today was just plain, there's a camphor snake wrapping my neck and not
letting me spend quality time with family and grandfather. It's now or
never I'm killing it. I read golu's thoughts, it indeed felt lonely
space and I was reason for it. I wonder how we would have been if we
hung in a mini gang, at one point we had that too but we took off from
that place and time.
Wishing all the best for her daily progress.
01-14
Usually I write things 1 day after, but I can change that. Yesterday
golu was setting up cyberdeck, I felt it's too much to assist! Feck is
wrong with dietpi, just do give a warning nothing works out of the box
and it's for self harm feckers. Why you do advertise it's works out of
the box and hide all the things under one installation script.
I have a pi zero with me, I'm moving away from *nix and go for *BSD wh
ich is even bigger pain on rpi. Isn't there a single OS out there th
at does what I want.
My pain is kicking in, and the face swelled on one side, got bigger to
day. This golu again, pujucked grub-menu update today. I'm afraid of t
he screen jabs T430 taking, only Khopchand will know.
I'm wondering lately, is anyone writes gemini this way. The lazy way w
ith just txt? I want to explore more of gemini to create txt supremacy
circle.
01-11
Took out the chipped teeth, painkiller are really effective. Golu wrot
e reply to below, it was fun to read. I wanted to have this cycle of g
emini interaction. It gives topic to critize on even if you don't have
any!
Yes, indeed materialistic things are here today and gone tomorrow, tha
t temporary joy should get going for the time being. Isn't one of the
how many are coping? without getting obsessive, haha.
01-10
First things first, whatever golu wishes on birthday will happen, she
will be tired of all the surprises, I bet on this! it's not straight
away direct use product but something that will help her grow, light
her curiosity. Yes! I was so moved by her writing here.
Second, my teeth finally gave out. Chewing on left side for years has
done it! I happend to tag along ma for her regual checkup but got this
diagonized. Tomorrow I have to remove two of my teeths.
01-05
I'm staying near backwaters, might be last trip with my family this
year. Golu isn't here, I shared pictures videos. The reply I got, I
have shown to my family. Missed you Golu.
Ending the day with,
"It can only get more tougher, more closer not the other way around"
12-31
It was hardly two years of knowing each other but, I experienced ever
ything from the person I cherish. I didn't dream of these but yes it
happend and we just followed the flow. I'm thankful for it and rest of
the times I'm going to spend. Might be the hardest, and it's okay.
o/ Bye
|___o o__ __o __o o o Year full
o/ v\ /v v\ o/ v\ <|> <|> of Happy
/| <\ /> <\ /|/ <\ / > < \ Surprises
// o/ o/ \o \ o/ \o__ __o/
/v <| |> /v \|__ __|
/> \\ // /> |
o/ \ / o/
/v o o /v |
/> __o__/_ <\__ __/> /> __o__/_ / \
12-29
Golu the Gulk is stupid, ytalk on T430 o_O. The Biggest pujuck of the
year 2024. Don't believe this Golu! calling for help - SOS. Erasmus on
Gemini, cmon people gather. I will type more than this gulk, challengi
ng me on live, haha. Hey bhai it's mountain of backspaces, might be bi
ggger than the concrete jungle one, the one we saw on taxi. Puking non
sense here - big brains.
Yeah that's true, how did you land in battery hell full of 18650s?
# ##### ##### ####### Ctrl+v isn't working here
## # # # # # # otherwise I could have moved all
# # # # # the lines simultaneously
# ##### ##### # That's why mosh the saver is there!
# # # # Where is poopchan?
# # # # # # Show! are you showing? knock knock?
##### ##### ##### # Is anybody out there? okay.
Btw did you notice your door text outside ;) your metal door, see from
outside. Maybe rain has washed away the chalk. I think golu ran out!
Left me alone here, typing on index file. This stupid golu is seeing
after a week, the biggest hermit of belhi. Khopchan would have noticed
right away. Just 2 lines manda.
You just locked your door when you went for church today. Oh okay on
the lines of "Beware, all sizes of Stupids inside"
Heavy competition with you, competing for the biggest with me! I will
rock with belly \,,/
That time my dress with actually fit me ;) uncle sweater! I'm wearing
2 sizes bigger already. Go ahead.
Used. haha! I know you know that word! oh sure, I'm used.
Will \o/ I'm used! That's a
Shout like | Better idea
this! / \ Used! Tshirt
There's even better way to show, I will tear the shirt and wear "USED"
shirt inside and show like hanuman! oh this "USED" and a picture
below I will tear off the button shouting! yeah pakka I will print one
for me and for you!
Bold "USED" tshirt. I don't know if anyone asks you out per say, haha.
But yes, same goes for you. Golu being Golu on gemini.
There's a song I wrote,
Golu being Golu, Golu being Golu. o_o on proposal on Gemini?
I saw! you will live. Now? on syncplay? bhai remove that place name,
bit too much for gemini. "not here" haha! Let's go btw the 2 earlier
movies were,
Perfect days (2023 )
Mori the artist (2013?)
Which you liked the most?
Nice! Mori was also good in that sense then, he lived and cherished
his garden.
Yeah! but we watched many other that were provoking?
Salaam bombay (1970?)
wah!!! 22020202020 <--- golu filled the screen with this sequence. Wa
s that tall() or something else? I don't remember the movie, what was
it about? oh it was something else, it's called tower? B6 tower no nam
e was something simple, NO! not tall, I did pirate duties hehe, it was
...thinking... it was what was it. Let me $links it.
Fall manda! yeah fall. My top tier hate character - hunter the vlogger
Poopchan is on his mission, making me jealous. Give back my spot!
My cusion, my fluffy cusion is took over by this poopan. Depressing!
Let's see, what else we saw! pandi one yes, it's called
Kottukali (2024).
Grandpa? oh yes!!! the horro one, true horror that makes one think in
the middle of night for upcoming weeks, what will happen to family, w
ill they win the case or government take overs! None other than
Veedu (1990?)
Yes, this was horror! does that haunt you?
Actually it was japanese movies, korean were part of that, I forgot th
e name of it, guy was working in a love hotel but devised as working i
n star hotel. She was a worker, finally realized her person was also a
worker too. Yeah call girl and boy. Any idea of the movie name?
Sure?
Love Hotel (2010?).
Next one! the your favorite this one! Hal 909! after that movie I real
ized how precious my 4 hrs of time is, haha
Space Odessy (1970).
Joking, it's okay. I wanted to watch that for a long time, finally did
. Next one?
Some kink ones, I'm not remembering was it last year or this year? yea
h, it's very hard to find the name of that movie, last time I did a im
age search from the screencapture to find the movie, it was Bosinian?
not sure what country it was from.
hehe! okay let's close this ytalk and vim. Is it okay? Harder now is
now on the web hehe.
I have look up, but you said it's on 2027. Sorry! going back correctin
g, okay then.
we will.
12-27
Golu did a ascii cycle animation! damn it was wild.
12-25
I'm feeling very lucky today, I never imagined I will find this person
but yes it's very real. Thanks for all the things happened!
12-21
Days! where were they?
12-10
I'm leaving this heaven, my den for a jungle and this is one my bigges
t gambles in my life. Why to do this? what's the best course of actio
n? and I was given a lot of material for the next coursework. There ar
e much to learn. 'Please don't show off you know to people' advice
given by m. I have to keep learning more from now on. There is tracki
ng I got it costed more than one of my thinkpads. Life is going to off
er me much, but I have high chance of loosing dear ones, my family. I
know it's not going to be one more year, I might not see them anymore.
What my ma, sister has done to deserve this treatment?
12-07
I was thinking what I should expose the yonger kiddos to make them hoo
ked. I wanted something anti-tech what it could be, few years back it
was waste management with making own litter picker, now looking back
it was one of the best things I did that influced set of kids, wish I
more motivated back then, but what now?
12-06
I'm looking at IEEE xplore for keyboard movement analysis, maybe golu
can help too. Lets see how we approach research articles.
12-05
It's already 5th. There is a wave of realization that I lost the skill
to find new things, I'm not the same stupid crazy stubborn person
I was back in 2022 and now I miss that being. I could have done somet
thing different, moved on to next stage doing that why I didn't?
12-04
Running fast without a pause. - o
- <`\ To Where? dark,
- / > Somewhere unknown,
silent.
11-21
What I wanted to say? My m's face with the happy tears, it will be in
grained on my mind. Such a strong person she is, I turned around to
wave bye sitting on that red ricksaw, my chest tightened, eyes became
blurry. Miracles, everything happened to me, us are indeed miracles
and it did happen again - Why the relief from finding a lost cross,
these keep convincing me there are reasons behind every occurance. The
moment I realized cross was there right on the bed, there was wave of
peace - ghosting all other feelings. I reckon, m felt the same too!
And indeed m as you say, we will love us more than today one day
(Are you a poet golu bhai?)
11-07
Finally explored the hiking trails after 1 year of passing right next
to it, should have done way earlier!
11-03
25 years. Another 20-30 years hardly, then turning into ashes. This
day was special, felt I got everything and experienced all the niches
of being connected with a another living being, What else extra I can
ask for.
10-26
Am I doing better than yesterday? NO and NO. What now?
I used to write progressing daily but not anymore.
10-20
Is it better to have loved and lost than never had any? -- Julias barn
At the moment, I'm starring at peaceful look on her sleepy face. Will
this haunt her, me, us? yes I'm scared. Words, thoughts all are about
to vanish in a blink. There is hope though things dont go predicted.
10-10
This moment, this instance, the sleep, the connection it's not going
to come back for a really long time. How to treasure it?
09-30
I somehow missed crucial planning before starting off July or is it
August but I missed it. Now I'm paying for it. What to do? I should
made everything alright for everyone-me and golu. Where did it wither
off or when, I don't want to analyze, but why I couldn't have done
it? a mere manuscript and hardly 3-4 hours a day I could have pulled
off, was I reading manga the whole day? NO, Then where did the time
flew off? Thought of loosing is scary, I'm not strong to go through.
It's now or never damn it, I should I know this!
09-29
The more I speak to people, the more the intent of exploring. Where I
will be, about gulk. I did something terrible yesterday but sorted out
better late than never. Is it 3 months? no! 2 now. Hoping all goes
good.
09-23
,-----.,--.
,' -' \--.
/ / \ __ ___ _ _
/ \ \ \ / / |_ __ _| |_ (_)___
/ ,-. ,----. \ \/\/ /| ' \/ _` | _| | (_-<
' / `-' \ \_/\_/ |_||_\__,_|\__| |_/__/
Y -' ,' \ _ _ _ ____ __ ___
; / \| |_| |_ (_)___ |__ / \__ \
| _________ \ _| ' \| (_-< / / () |/_/
,+. |Mountain | \__|_||_|_/__/ /_/ \__/(_)
( \ | Ranges?.---------.
\ |_______ |Tilt Off!|
/\ `---------'
`-'
09-20
Wisdom at 3am in the morning (-_-
09-18
__
Fresh .-~" "~- o,-Inner What now?
- o Start - o (_Mind Cloud \ o Demon -|> / \ / \
09-16
Manga, Udon, Chuckles, Sleep, Teeny helps. Is this the NEVERLAND I
dreamt of? The manga was called 'Rainbow - cell no.6' it was well wri
tten tale about lives of 7 people in early 1950s nippon.
09-15
Watched Tokoyo Sonata (2008),
A good tale of family drama after a long time.
09-13
There's Kopchan! Here's Kopchan! eating eggs
+-----------------+ )\._.,--....,'``.
| Kopchan bheten | /, _.. \ _\ ;`._ ,.
| Angry Kitten | .`. fL `._.-(,_..'--(,_..'`-.;.'
| Always hidden | `
| Anywhere Poopen |
+-----------------+
09-12
10 days from today I will be gossiper about cmd and em!
09-08
_\|/_
(o o) My present life in a single word
+--oOO-{_}-OOo------------------------------------------------------+
| From Moby Thesaurus II by Grady Ward, 1.0 [mb]: |
| |
| 103 Moby Thesaurus words for "insouciance": |
| abandon, accidia, acedia, aloofness, apathy, ataraxia, ataraxy, |
| |
| |
| From WordNet (r) 2.0 [wn]: |
| |
| insouciance |
| n : the cheerful feeling you have when nothing is troubling you |
| [syn: {carefreeness}, {lightheartedness}, {lightsomeness}] |
| |
+-------------------------------------------------------------------*
08-12
How days are going faster! right now I'm might be having the best days
of my life without acknowleding it fully. There's so much uncertainit
y again, taking back to the days I started before masters. What next
now?
04-08
Having a simple hair cut makes me feel like a rebirth, it's just my
mentality. I wanted to change certain things and just like that went
for a cut bunking my lectures.
04-07
Sometimes you give up for no apparent reason - am I that everytime?
04-05
These days I'm bunking QFT class at 8.30, started reading Srednicki
after coming across a person who left QFT course when he encountered
renormalization at caltech then became a high rate poker player! wow
This all happend back in 80s, now I can totally relate. I'm at renorma
lization too in QFT II. Oh! I barely scraped bottom of class in QFT I
but got 10, 8 on my computation and dissertation < that's my semester
results, the most impressive fest was of gulk's she played literal
8 test match day after day just as in cricket and won the series!
I'm Proud :)
04-02
Okay today I handed qft test within 20 min, it was full of renormaliz
ation which I apparently havent touched this semester, so I did a 1
question of 1 mark asking dimension of coupling constant in phi 3 theo
ry in d dimension what else now this midterm is going to cost my
degree.
03-31
This month is the least productive one of my entire masters! without a
doubt. I'm going to bomb the midterm with omelettes next week. QFT the
demon - I'm so pissed at myself, it bites my neck drag me to the under
world - so damn real I'm do want to that yet that target.
03-30
Using a phone from 2010 to go on.. I had set up ssh client and wow see
ing this actually working after these years! I have also set up cgi s
cript on server just so I can upload from this phone, yes it works too
Deedum with 80 characters set makes this device perfect for going thr
ough gemini - oh ys writing from phone too
03-29
How to realize what I'm doing is right or wrong? I think I'm not lear
ning enough from my past mistakes, but what if those mistakes weren't
harsh enough will I not commit again? days are not productive enough
guess I became more comfortable here again. On a hindsight I should
be doing something else, I have all the time for those and more then
so why not indulge in it?
I know this exact feeling, when you have something pending you cannot
give yourself break and enjoy + that previous work also isn't done the
n I ask myself what was the point of all these. I should have done bef
ore, Yet again I do follow the same cycle - it's really scary.
Ramblings of yet another indifferent human being walking on this soil.
03-28
I wish I include 'contacts' somewhere or better a cgi script for a
scrapebook? My day are getting counted, field theory and condensed ma
tter is going to bite my arse. I'm enjoying this chill week with more
dive into gemini space, let's see where all this takes.
03-27
Study of few hours, a shared meal, little drama then a laugh. A mix of
every thing - A peaceful day :) oh oh phone got swapped
03-25
Okay today is the day! I don't know how to console or pamper you and
the worst, I'm starring blank at ceiling when all you asked for is
a simple talk. Now we have resolved things - you can hold on to that
teeny tiny grudge at side but as always I'll be grateful for meeting
my companion. Have a good sleep.
+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
| |
| .....::::::::::::::::::.::.........::....:::::.:::::.:.... |
| .....::::::::::::::::::::.:.:.. ...:..:.::::...::::.. ...,. |
| .....:::::::::::::::::::::::::.,.:....:.:.:.....,.,. . |
| .....:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::...... . . . |
| ....:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.... . . . . . . |
| ....:::::::::::::::::::::::.::::::::::.. ..... .,..... .... |
| .....:::::::::::::::::::::::..:.:::::.:. ...:.:.:::.:....... |
| ....:::::::::::::::::::::::::....:.:. . ...::::.:::::....... |
| ...:::::::::::::::::::::::::::.... . . .:..:.:..::.:....:... |
| ..:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::... . .:.:::......:.......:... |
| ..:::::::::::::::::::::::::::.:. .....::::::...:.....:....... |
| ....:::::::::::::::::::::::.,.... ...:..:.:.:...:.....:....... |
| ....::::::::::::::::::::::.. ..:.:..::.:.:.........:.. . .... |
| ..::::::::::::::::::.:.:..:.,.:::::.:::::::.....:..:..,. . . |
| ...:.:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.:. ..... |
| . ...:::.:.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::... . . |
| ...:.....:.:.:.:::.:.:.::::::::::::::::... |
| .. . ..... .....:. .....:.:::.::::::::::... |
| . . . . . . ..... .:...:::::::::.... |
| . . ....::::::::...... |
| ....::::::::....... |
| . ...::::::::...... |
| ....::::::::.... |
| ....:::::::::... . . |
| ....:::::::::..:.. .. |
| ....:::::::::.::.. . .. |
| ...::::::::::::..... . ... . |
| . ...:::::::::::..........:... |
| . . . ...:::::::::::.:........:... |
| . :.:. .. ...:::::::::::::::.:.:.:.:.:. |
| .: ,:::. .. ...:::::::::::::::::::::::::: |
| .:, :::. .,... ...:::::::::::::::::::::::::: |
| .::, .::.. .::.......:::::::::::::::::::::::::: |
| .::::. ..::.:.::........:::::::::::::::::::::::::: |
| .::::.,. ...::::.:.........::::::x:x::::::.:.:::::::: |
| .,.:.::.:.::.:......:.....::::::xxxx:::::.:..:.::::: |
| .:..:.:.:........:::.:.::::::::xxx::::::::.:.::::. |
| ..:..... . ......:::::::::::::::xxx:::::::::::::::. |
| ... . .. ...:.:::::::::::::::xxxxx:x::::::::::::. |
| . . ... ...::::::::::::::::::xxxxxxxx:::::::::,. |
| . .........:::::::::::::::::::xxxx:x:x:::::::., |
| . . .........:::::::::::::::::::xxxx:x::::::.,. |
| ... . ........:::::::::::::::::::xxxxxx:::::. |
| .....:. . . .......::::::::::::::::::::x:x:x:::.,. |
| ...:.:::...:.....:.:::::::::::::::::::::::x::.,. |
| ...::::::.:::.:.::::::::::::::::::::::::::x:. |
| ...::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.:::::::::.,. Golu |
| ..::::::::::::::::::::::::::.:..::::.:.,. The GulK |
| .:::::::::::::::::::::::::.....:.:. . |
| |
+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
01-13
It's a chilly day, I think I helped a person around me. Will this do
as a payback?
*----------------------------------------------*
| Yet Another New Year |
| Faded from memories |
| |
| Thanks for _ ) \ _ ) __ / |
| Unexpected / ( | / _ \ |
| Pile of ___| \__/ ___| ___/ |
| Feelings |
*----------------------------------------------*
12-31
Year ended! Last year many new faces have entered my life but this ye
ar I tried to maintain relations with the same ones who did I meet?
It did change my perception of things.
12-18
Insisting to type a paragraph but, what to type here. This is a scrape
Wall of text - oh how to name a cyberspace scrapebook scrape Wall?
Just a mice passed by in the library hall, rabies infected maybe?
maybe not?
.~`. __
'-*=(_.)8 Scropio
Ratte?
11-19
So Yes finally it's about time to take back of this harddisk and reti
re it forever. Already saw signs for block errors nd it took me 2 hr
s for the last boot..
And Today is such a confusing day with all the things going on right
now I wasnt able to process but atleast I had briyani in a mud pot
That one of the best dishes ever to have on this concrete jungle and
it was really good too. Maybe I will miss eating out with that partic
ular company of her but yes. Something something unsure people are
taking a break but what am I doing with this JUlia Boolia I'm getting
accousted with it. Oh Damn it's scary how easy things are and how
I how the earlier days of mine tinkering for hours to change a teeny
tiny configuration in fvwm hehe. Just Thinking about it is gving me
a great pleasure
Oh Yes the briyani is from Itamanaan. They packed it really all marke
ting I suppose but I should be willing to appreciate if the main dish
and it was so plus plus just after affects of emotional damage is not
but yes all part of it.. comes very naturally to me
Oh paragraph again because I fear this will be my last post from this
hybrid debian-mxlinux machine it served really well from 2018 I was
doing all sorts of crazy nukes on this endured really well and I know
this was realible and that's what gave me confidence to indulge on
OBSD in the beginning days more without this It would have been no go
it's that easy. And stage of retiring finally...
Somehow it made me to slow down myself, it takes 5 mins to boot up
and every time I have forced to run fsck from the grub menu or intirm
fs it's like a routine to boot up now and scary part is I got so used
to it as if every *nix machine behaves like that.. that how it is
Finally there's something really wrong with the mxlinx/antix installer
I know I never faced such issues in the past with other distributions
---I'm killing Julia now---ate up all the giga juices in my box---
Okay coming back, I believe the installer is dump on the side of mxlin
x it's never properly installs even on the fresh harddisk why so I did
go through it but from seeing it first hand 3 times on 3 difference ma
chines I knew it. There has to be something about bad blocks and this
installation. Cause suddenly I friend was getting bad blocks too heeeh
so yes! but I don't have resource to delve on more and report on commu
nity - already on the verge of disk dying.
Oh yes what OS I should hop on *BSD are no go. I don't want to give my
time to tinker around in the middle of my dissertation. so yes I have
ordered a simple 120gb ssd - it's cheaper and will stick to keeping
things simple without further experiments.
---now I'm seeing backup write rate as 14.88kB/s---hee dashing head---
Yeah The OS, I think it's time to switch from debian something arch
based that has a way bigger community and come with some inbuilt packa
ges so I wont be spending more than an hour to configure just copy pas
te configuration and install this herbstluftwm + this damn keybinds of
tapping and holding. I got so used to this re change I really find it
impossible to type on the normal layout without pressing caps lock mul
tiple times - dang it! so that package comes from interception tools
or I could do with an older x package oh xmodmap if I'm not right.
Good thing is my write up is on the web so I just refer to it and move
on.
---so yes satisfied---not too fast---the rsync should finish properly-
only then----
okay bye and good night. Nothing else - everything digital is someday
or another going to disappear into the void of unknown so no one reme
mber all these significant or down to zero things. Bye for now..
btw, Typing in pitch dark is cool too, not for eyes hehe ;)
11-03
I'm not sure it's already been a year. It feels like magic, I got new
people in my life that I will cherish forever.
10-14
Not much going on other than cursing at julia, although I want to get
used to DynamicalSystems.jl, skimming myself through field of Chaos
Oh I do think I'm making one soul simile at end of every day.
10-12
State of Julia on this (-_- seems like I will plot the graph on paper
and stare at blank wall
julia> @time using Plots
11.652682 seconds (4.76 M allocations: 265.165 MiB, 1.93% gc time,
4.15% compilation time: 99% of which was recompilation)
julia> @time p = plot(rand(2,2));
0.844877 seconds (1.38 M allocations: 90.247 MiB, 7.09% gc time,
99.31% compilation time: 85% of which was recompilation)
julia> @time display(p);
12.466280 seconds (5.29 M allocations: 312.184 MiB, 1.22% gc time,
21.70% compilation time: 91% of which was recompilation)
10-01
Beginning of a New month, it was great news yesterday that the way we
worked really shown a result that validated confidence in both of us
especially boosted her so I was really happy for it. 30th of Sept.
09-27
Looking at the vast blue sky, Drowning myself in Field theory.
_ + Thinking hard to dumb this
| | | --- down with a quantum theory
\_|_/ \ + * of single particles analogy
.i. (x) = > a (_|_) (x) on the way to purge.
/ |
---
09-17 evening
yeah of course! < these are replies to m who is live here typing with
me on golu's page we got ourselves connected with ytalk and seeing our
terminals live. Golu in 2nd line now! I will better give a live commen
tary of what golu is doing hehe (oh oh hehe at the same time). Vim is
being used for this - guess the creator would be face palming from
heaven.
Indeed we wrote together! actually we are writing.. these teeny tiny
things mean a lot to me - Yeah A Lot - watching you type live :)
should I make a ascii art for you? don't you think there are too many
...................... dots .................. are you creating morse
with it? haha! Okay shall we ZZ it?
o_O will this do? don't slap me - I know you will tell this
- see you m
oh I can do figlet, let me try - it's banner here
###### #### #####
# # # # #
##### # # # #
Tooooo Much OF A # # # #####
White SPACE # # # # #
What to FILL # #### # #
ANY Ideas? are you here still? # # #### # #
press o to insert after a line ## # # # # #
and O to insert before a line # # # # # # #
press o nice, to insert before # # # # # # ## #
capital O # ## # # ## ##
# # #### # #
Sun Sep 17 06:05:37 PDT 2023 Shall we?
Okay! ZZ
09-17
Down along the line, nothing seems to be hard - There is always a way
out. All it takes is a hint of thought - am I bounded by anything yes
but taking out a year of my life to disappear into the unknown,
does it bother the people around - yes, it would - but on the whole
world scale this is just a yet another insignificant teeny tiny break
Keeping people around you happy - or the least when they remember the
days let your simple smile strike their memory and nothing more - soun
ding very fullfilled to me.
09-05
Got the x201 shorted, something burnt in motherboard. It Was initially
just the battery module issue, as the battery was getting recognized
by acpi but just charging took forever, I was turning on & off with AC
on and boom lights went off with just (z) led - power indicator on.
Should have just called it a day without battery /o\. To add to this
lost a cherished fountain! it was cheap but cannot digest
Materialist Pleasures,
here today gone tomorrow - Just a gentle remainder
Also my trusty translucent pad which I had for 10 years from my second
ary school, what sort of absent minded I was no words - chii
09-03
Booted up my other x201, cleaned it up after trying to install n no of
gaanu linux because the machine throttles itself when trying to copy
image from live disk. That's me putting off reapplying thermal paste
I believe today is end for several things! I was putting off how to
but triggers gave me reasons to end right away, it will be painful lon
ely now but on the long run I guess this will be..
I'm leaving home too, a week here wasn't peaceful as I expected becaus
e two sick relations were here so I couldn't feel that zen den anymore
but cannot complain any of it - All for good.
Oh plans are scattered now but fine I will try to use it up for myself
keyboard feels good after a long time.
09-02
It's a nothingness update again, I have only 2 more days to leave my
den! it's a total regret now
I'll be venturing to wild things now field theory, non linear dynamics
and condensed batter. Let me breathe now before the self harm.
when will , / l,/
I stop,__// being me?
08-18
Been hardly 15 days my roommate in dorm left to his country SriLanka
It was rough staying cramped this in one, he was telling me the same
how it felt before I arrived. I was told a new one will be popping
withing this week - Slovakian ? Russian? seeing vauge correlations
between previous and future to be, Beautiful countries but war ridden
countries - scapegoat citizens, ah peace!
Hoping to get some music recommendations hehe, let's see.. yikes with
semesters in between.
08-15
I'm miss my Kaidan! someday we will meet in rainbow bridge. I came acr
oss a journal I started when I first met her, I didn't continue after
day one but even that single entry smashes me with all the memories.
I have no where to publish and I want that feeling here now, with all
backlogs currently this has made be close my eyes and drown..
----------------------------------------------------------------------
When Ever I look into your eyes, I feel really special and sleeping
close to, makes me think of a time in the past. Those days were
'The happiest' in my entire life and wish I could struck to it forever
and ever and ever and ever and ever
D1 P1
I'm so frustated, chugging to Iced Earth - Wolf. I was never able to
work out the rhythm part, it was a mix of gallop and reverse on the
same bar at ~150bpm I came to know this only after a days of playing!.
It was a damp and dark afternoon, the fake birds screeched my ear I
couldn't take it anymore but it had again and again to very of
smashing I tried the riff again without any veil, my right arms were
giving up begging to drop dead Okay enought of it.
With Climber swinging past over the head, dropping the build up potent
ial energy gradually I pulled the mesh with skid rubber kissing the
marble floor I'm walking past leaving the mesh door behind. I could go
on a verbal assualt if there was any trigger
I was hungry but it was well after the usual time, I felt quite guilty
that I was last to have lunch with that I found my plate a small round
shaped high brim one. Settled myself with rice and gravy, as usual I
was searched a bit for my 'Elegante' spoon not bad this time picked at
one go. Give me Peace alteast when having meal, damn! I was so impati
ent I marched towards the side door asking to shut up
I just cannot believe what I saw when ma pointed out, a kitty looking
straight into my eyes meowing, all the moody things so far just doomed
away. I was so eager I took back the plate in hand munching without
losing eye contact. It was and still is - a fluttering feeling.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
08-13
end of drive. Totally drained doing nothing, just grining at my own re
flection, What to say and what not to say nothing will save me at this
point. Powerfully blank - Done for the day
08-10 Day
How to survive without a drive? possible? how to just do for the sake
of doing, so what's left? will I finish scattering?
08-09
Having a close talk with a person you trust is always makes one feel
lucky, feeling safe in each others arm - whatever life is throwing tr
usting the flow and moving on. My . ,
|\/| in my teeny
tiny world
08-03
There's nothing to say really,
A B I G ____ __ _______ __ __
| | |.-----.|_ _| |--.|__|.-----.-----.
Too Much of | || _ | | | | || || | _ |
Empty Space |__|____||_____| |___| |__|__||__||__|__|___ |
A N D |_____|
nothing more
08-02
A slam textual paper for End of labs, It just happened that I tore ext
ra pages from the file and made it into stack of pages stappled
together And My friend followed too. Are we kiddos? we all were and
are, aren't we? The page has drops of ink from fountain multiple langu
ages - piece of art. That's it with this bunch of people 8 months in
a puff.
08-01
Did we do something wrong/right no reasoning, felt great and that's it
07-31
Today is last day of this month, I can literally count in my fingers
what I did till now - nothing totally nothing. It's making me loose my
appentite my mood my thinking my everything slowly I'm feeling I don't
deserve to feed myself I don't deserve face anything.. just guilty is
killing me slowly what I can do now.
I want a change of atomosphere so I did go out with people but nothing
has changed, is this my room making it - I can easily point around and
put my blame on it, will it change anything? NO
Then how to, how will I, how I reached this point? it's the same feeli
ng I remember. How will get up and go back now.
Is anybody out there? is anybody out there? is anybody out there?
I'm dragging my M with me to bottom too, suffocating everyone around
me, please don't do this
What I did wrong, where I go wrong? should I speak out to people? am I
changed totally? please please fecking please This is not me, not the
me I wanted, I want to go to my home my den and stare at the ceiling
what became of you...
try and get myself going, why I'm loosing it all..
want to disappear into void, why none of the darkwave is helping I can
not cry out I want to, see my crocadile tears
. _~ .__.
__o_ ,' `.; Please, Beg you
().\/ Take me to
|\ Nowhere Land
| >
07-28
+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
| o++++::::+=+++:::+++=:::++=oo=++~~~.:++===+=+=+===++:++:::o=:~~+:: |
| +:++:++:~++++++++:+::+++:++++:::+~~.~~+:+==+====o=+ _ +::+:~: |
| :::++::::++++++==+++++==+::+++::::::~~.........~~ /_/ _\ ::::~:: |
| +:~:+::+=====ooo=o=++=oo=+++++:+::+::::~~:~~~..~~.. .:::::::+ |
| ::~~~.~~~~:~~~::::~~~~~~:~:. ... . .~~::+++:::+:+::~;:=+::::::~::~ |
| ~:~~.... .~..~..~ . .~... .. ...~~~+::~~::::::::::+:::+:::+::~ |
| ~~:~~~~:~..~~.~..... ..~.~..........~~:::~:::::::~:+++:+::~:::+++: |
| ~~~~~~~::~~::~:.~::~~~~::~~~:~:~.~...~~:~~..~::::::++:+=+=+ooo===o |
| :~~~~~~:~~~~:~~~.~..~~:~~~~....~ . .~.. ....~~~..~~~:+==+::= |
| ::~:~~:~::~~~:::~~::~~. ~~~~..... . .~:+++ |
| ~~~~~~~:~~~~~~~~++:~. . . .~..~ . ~++ |
| .~:~~::::~~..~. ~~~ . |
| :~:+::~~~.. ..... |
| :~:::.. . ....... .~~~~~~:~. ..~~. |
| ~~~.. .~~~~:~~.~~~ .~.::~~~~.. ... ~:~~ |
| ~.. .:~~~~.~.. . ...~~. .~~~~~~...~~~ |
| ~.. ~~~::~.... . . ..~~~~~~:~.~~~~~. |
| .. .. .~.. . ...... . ~~~~~~~~~~...~~~ |
| .. ...~. .. ..... .~~:~~. ...~.. |
| .... . . .. . .. ....~.~~. |
| . . .. . .~~~~...~~~~~~ |
| ... . ..~~.~~....~~~~~~ |
| . . . . .. .........~~.~~ |
| . .. ....~~~.~~ |
| . . ....~...~~~.~ |
| . ..~.~~.~.~~~... |
| . . . .. .. ...~.~~.~~~~~~~ |
| ... .... ... .... ~..~. ....~~~.~~~~~. |
| .. ........ . . ~~.~. .~~.. .~:~..:=+. ....~.~~~~~~ |
| ~~....~..~.. .. . . .:~~~~ ......:+:.~::::.~. .....~~.~~. |
| ~~~~~~........... . .+=:.. .~..~~~~.~~:::~~. . ....~~... |
| ~~~~~.~......... . .~+=~.......~...~.~. .. ~. . .~~.. |
| ~.~~~~~.~......... ~....~~~.~...... . .. .~~ .~.. |
| ..~~~.~~~.~......... ....~~...~.~.~...... . .... .~ |
| .~...~.~~........ ..~.~~~~~...~~..~..~~.. . . ~~~~~~~~~~~~. |
| .~..~~....... .. ....~~~~~~~..~~~...~.~~........~~...~~::+++++++ |
+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
07-27
Your companion is struggling and you are blinking, collecting all the
material for the stupid debate you are going to win - Doubebag move
There was an intruding dog used me as a cover for bark from all other
mini doggos of that spot. What's relevant here?
07-26
Is documenting memories useless, it isn't. But it is when you know the
only possible scapegoat who might read this is telling that.
Hurts. /o\
07-25
Just made an excuse for my lazy arse, precessing in a head spin dummy
resoanace
07-22
What to do when sense of guilt slaps you at end of the day? with only
few moments left in the day, curling up in bed and drained of motivat
ion, rewinding past - people who were no more, moved far away and the
struck yourself hoplelessly waiting in the void.
Closing my eyes and sinking in distorted pleasures - darker waves.
07-21
days are scrolling past like banners, So fast. Trying things out but
does it go into mind? unsure. The only great thing is my little smili
ng companion around. Sleep is takimg me over 24x7.
07-19
Woke early and day went by tinkering normal modes - lattice vibration
07-18 day
Today was most natural day. I was feeling really safe in a tight embra
ce, I cannot find words to explain these. All the teeny tiny things
about golu is burnt into back of head. So pure bond, Nothing is taboo
between US!
07-18
This is morning of 18th, I have figured a way to use this ed wrapper
as well as asked my partner to delve into gemini too. Gave SSH- access
and simple script to getting started. Feeling good about these, let's
see we can be regular from now on
.wq
07-17
Planning to write a simple wrapper to edit using ed text editor, let's
see how this is go
04-22
Right At this moment I'm staring at my love, sleeping on my shoulders
I'm totally uncertain about the progress we made or about to make and
the things I have done so far were very 'unconventional me'
02-06
I have watched the one movie that I kept reserve for around 8 years.
I know I'll cry my hearts out watching that and I really did, current
concrete jungle doesn't help either.
It's Balu Mahendra's Thalaimuraigal. Final film of his, portraying the
grandfather grandson relation. I don't want to blunt it out the incide
nt in my case. I was asssured by my parents it was peaceful atleast.
I didn't have a great relation with my pa side grandfather but
I always envied the lifestyle he was having. After my grand mother
passed 15 years back, he was surviving alone. Not lonely though since
he was always surrounded by 5(4, excluding my father) of his children
That was the place I burnt in my mind as proper countryside, the old
tile roof, a stream at the back, a cow shed, a well where I was forced
to learn swimming with bottle gourd shell tied to my back - haunting
memories of it were fresh still now, an unfunctional gober gas plant,
thinnai - a raised pillar on veranda where I hurt my chin and had a
first stitch after bleeding for a while, forcefully plucking my first
milk teeth, goofing around with younger cousins - not in contact any
more now.
I blurtted out words to that side of family pin pointing their behavi
ours and mistakes. Words! those burns wont go away easy.
Will I ever get myself to visit my native place? after the only reason
is lost now too. I don't think it will be happening anytime soon
Here today, gone tomorrow
The END.
01-21
A lot has happened! I have moved out of home and shifted to a new stat
e made relations that will last for years hopefully and re-shifted to
another state.
I just cannot process thoughts anymore, it's always hectic and this is
one of the congested shitehole city in the world. I have been called
as sadists by many of close friends, now it feels like I'm doing that
to myself in the name of coming of out comfort zone, Let's see where
this heads. One thing that makes me shiver the most is I might
suffocate my innocent friend too.
Mental stability on the drain
--------------------------------------------------------fin--2022-----
11-09
A colleague of my pa's also a neighbour had an unforunate fall playing
shuttle cock and gone lifeless. He and his family were close 15 years
back untill pile of verbal exchanges through third party reached ears.
Myself and cousin used to play gully cricket with him when his family
goes away to their native place, picture of me carrying my new bat in
red cross bag to his home is burnt in my mind so does the mock from
cousin for my bat's care.
News was sudden this morning, my pa was on the way to visit him but he
seemed to lost pulse on the spot of fall. Only in the instance of pre
funeral my parents went to their house after years, such a fate! ma
prepared food for them later.
I have counted many 'human life is short, here today gone tomorrow'
dialogues today, even saw a elder doing visual action of shuttle smash
and fall to a person setting DTH dish
11-08
The most difficult thing to write? describing nothingness. What I do
during the phase is playing `tetris -l 9` with background podcast or
music going, this is the only multi task I enjoy without two thoughts
clashing.
11-07
It happens every time when I'm nearing deadline, finding very interest
ing things that would make me forget what's happening around on an
extremely tiring situation - it's called 'arse under burning cushion'
effect
There's Let me enjoy this Oh shoot it got me!
Fire under o Fluffy cushion o (consolidates)
Your Arse! \_ ./ Anyways worth the
.'./ ..'| Burnt Arse
It's a manga/comics this time 'Hirayasumi' and theme is very close to
the described situation above! A slice of life about a feel-good man
living in Tokoyo and how events fit+fold around.
11-06
Within a blink, entries are 2 months old. I can only vaguely remember
what came inbetween, wonder why 'go out and start now' doesn't work as
intended. Even the mere plain text isn't flowing consistently,
Douché Mode - The Eejit in Me
Nan nan Nana NaanaNa na na
If I could just hide
The Eejit inside
And keep him denied
How sweet life would be
If I could be free
From the Eejit in me
09-18
o - o - .o Going into
.|\ .<\ - .< \ - ,-o_ Areo Position
) >() - ()/ () - () \() - ¯ ()/ ()
09-15
It was daunting to see myna carry a plastic wrapper and escape the
crow's chase. 21st century I suppose
09-14
[we know] _
˛., .´ `
.´ `./ o o \
Fungi Are / O O \ - )
Funtastic ( - )- - - ¯
¯- - - -¯ | |
│ │ | |
ad| |ldsal |ddlds
rrrkl dldkLdKrddklddld
09-13
Last week a dragonfly wandered ¸'¯l When I was visitng my pa's
on roof when I opened the door / j , native place, a delta region
I don't remember spotting one / /' \ full of paddy fields.
since my childhood around / ./ j
these parts, water bodies / / / Draggos fascinated me with
have changed - trashes / ,/' ,·' striking colors, markings
started to pile on the /./ . ´ and each being almost unique
banks shrinking sizes / /.·´
of these. Realized 8.-============o< I remember hearing stories
dragonflies are now ¯\/ \`, from parents; kiddos had
a rare sight! __/_/_ assortments of dragonflies
/ ˛ ) tied with threads and carried
Rewinding back to / /¯¯¯, \ around showing off! organic
past my first encoun ¯¯¯\ j balloons I suppose - cannot
ter with draggos were ¯´ picture my pa doing though.
09-12
This was initially meant to be a replay on the mailing but, by the I
finished writing; I looked back on the thread and realized that the
person was asking to choose from his list so it was never made public
untill now, and there's no change from my early 2020 selections too -
I will still recommend these today.
How not to be a creep and strike a conversation
+--------+ +-----------+
.|favorite| .Bye /¯¯¯/\ ¸·|let me toss|
o´ | movies?| o o7 /_¯ /¯˜ o | this list |
\\ +--------+ /|\ '´\ /_¯ / /|\ +-----------+
| / \ / \ ___/_¯ / / \
\¸´ \¸´
¯¯¯
I'm more into documentaries than movies nowadays, very few movies real
ly resonated with me. My three picks,
Yokomichi Yonosuke (2013)
Le Rayon vert (1986)
Lucky (2017)
Ever wondered what this person life/daily routine is? that's the core
of these movies. The storyline is just the character development in a
sense you're experiencing main character's life without any motive.
What's so different?
Artists get freedom to live as themselves than acting as someone else
Since emphasis is more on character than the actual plot, stories are
developed based on exact actors in mind. This was actually the case
with all Éric Rohmer movies; Yonosuke was adopted from Novel - never
got hold of it and no translations sadly; Lucky was the final movie
of a great actor, Harry Dean - never admitted he was acting.
I picked these three in the order based on the timeline they portray,
Yonosuke starts with early 20s, Eric's middle age and then lucky..
09-11
My personal best at starving/fasting was a week, even though I had res
pect for food before - it quadrupled that feeling; Also made me very
vocal towards careless people leaving non empty plates behind. Noting
down inherited recipes from ma is on my to-do list, that will make me
appreciate the food even more.
09-10
. , ¸-,
Straight frames are a thing HL_______________\\ Cycling Inside
of beauty, it took me long / (˜¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯˜k\ The Frame
time to realize because //^\\ o //\\
they are every where here // \\ /\ // '=' That must be
Very recently I stumbled // \\ ·\ () // one of the hard
on these standard cycle // \\ ()·´¯¯// est ascent with
races, it's a show of //\ ˛_o \\ / // sixty degree slope
sheer determination (¯¯ '\( )\ \ \\/ // straight into handle
despite all setbacks ¯¯¯ ===..( )_ \\_ // bar joints;
and makes me not to whine ¯¯¯==( )/ Descending into bottom
about things I don't have access ¯´ bracket shell hole; a
to; just proceeding further. ticket to hell hole?
09-05
¸_ ˛_
(~ ) ( )
o \ /´°
\. °`v atleast I'm watering
| `˛ |
¯¯¯
09-04
It's fun to talk to friends after not being in contact for months even
years, you get the chance to recite what you have been doing since and
relook at changed points of interest; only when I get asked 'are you
into that still' I realize it's a thing of past.
I always had such calls in very unexpected moments and most of the
time it ended with me appreciating good and idiotic past things; like
one time when I drilled a 75 years old buliding with rental hammering
action dril, me and my friend thought playing thrash metal will supp
ress the sound - how navie, vibration shook the whole block and I got
a proper dose from my seniors, only made me praise the solid const
ruction!
09-03
I developed a stigma around mobile phone, it all started with speaking
When I was kid I used to run in circles around home refusing when pare
nts hand the mobile to me for continuing conversation, nothing changed
after all these years - I just refuse bluntly and no more sprinting.
This wasn't the case with answering telephones firsthand, game of pred
icting who within seconds always brings joy. Another aspect of tele
phone calls were, the calling party doesn't expect you to know them;
overlooking fancy tele-messagers and registers.
If I call a friend on mobile, ofcourse I want them to answer; hell-o X
same goes for them. I have prolonged conversations to guess the party
instead of asking 'who are you' right away, why so? it might be sad
knowing they weren't registered on my mind so my goto reason - a very
different digital voice
Around one time my mobile had only parents' number for emergency and
contacts were noted on paper. It didn't make me to love answering the
phone but was fun attending and seeing how parties reacted with my
horrible guesses. I remember one such call, it was from my grandfather
but it had a reverb of someone speaking from well's inside, initially
I thought it was my naughty friend mimmicking and spoke colloquially.
By the time I realized I asked the blasphemous phone question, he was
taken back
I hope that day he wasn't sad thinking that his grandson hadn't stored
his contact.
09-02
c.Ɔ_o o o7
( ) | //\ /\
¯˜ ╱| |\ |\
|------ c.Ɔ |------ |------
| ( ) | |
|______ `¯ |______ |______
| | |
| | |
o | - o | '* ' |
\¸ | - /\¸ | ` < > ´ |
() | - ()\ () | _)o/_/() |
if you were the cyclist here, what would you do?
Although not same, here's the one. It was just before dawn and I was
drolling over the hovered clouds on the hills straight up ahead while
riding. Bam! a douchebag lady disposed the trash from the first floor
onto road, I didn't get hit but dodged a juice packet projectlie which
ended right on the middle of road. Continued straight for few seconds
before making an u-turn, stepped off the cycle and gave the packet a
hard kick; it landed right in front of her gate.
I was really furious and wasn't sure to control myself if eye contact
was made because this was the street I was litter picking, but I wish
she witnessed the kick; hard to miss the thud sound though.
Continued on the ride but that day was ruined afterwards
I should have brought the litter picker from home which was few meters
from that douchebags' and slung the whole trashbag+packet by transferr
ing momentum like a shotput-er, smashing her 1st floor bedroom window
and making a headshot to put some senses into her brain.
damn it's not an ideal world!
09-01
I had been fascinated with bus trips especially the ones that goes
to every remote village on the way instead of point-point, scenaries
are fresh but the main aspect is forceful evasdropping of copassengers
and taking a glimpse of their daily life. I planned on one such trip
on a whim after seeing a recycling centre listing, it was a tech city
in nearby state. I was dropped by family on the town's bus stand with
in few hours because I planned all this coinciding the outing. I was
on vaccation and a distinct cousin of ma lived there so convincing was
easy.
Forward trip was boring because, the moment I stepped into the bus sta
nd I saw point-point bus, as stubborn I could be I waited another 2hrs
till midnight and got into the similar bus. Task there went good; Resc
ued 2 X201 for $, which I still daily drive. On the return strip, I st
arted on morning taking a local bus to city outskirts then onto inter
state and 2 transits to hometown.
I prefer backrow despite the bumpy rides cause I could stretch legs
all the way till goods space which is usually empty on these buses.
Interstate one was filled, but I managed to sit near a 70-80 year old
man. He was streaming a movie on his 2inch phone! no complaints I was
pocketing a similar one too but without all this internet coolness. He
saw me peeking and offered to share the screen, phone was flipped with
holding dailpad horizontally. I tried to make sense of language but
the noise outside made it hard. We parted with a simile after entering
my state.
It was midday and unlike the previous, only 3/10 was filled in backrow
even the highways were scarce with vechicles; ideal for immersing into
thoughts. I didn't notice a copassanger untill a call he answered,
apparently it was from his wife asking what happened? - his friend
commited suicide by hanging and he stayed there to sort all the things
with family; he was in tears and tried containing anger while reciting
I just blinked and let the mid-30s man alone in bloddy eyes.
Reached a bigger town on evening; a final transit bus to my hometown
There were quite a few lined up for depature, picked one at random
surprise! myself and last copassanger were sitting in backrow, exact
postion. Later I learned while getting ticket from conductor he was
going to a town just before mine, I was thinking the whole time to
consolidate with some quotes or chat but When the bus stopped for the
mid trip break, saw him shift to an another bus that's about to go and
I just went out for air with regret of not uttering a word to man who
was letting go of emotion in public. Bus restarted after 30min and
reached home just before midnight.
I couldn't see myself doing these public rides in this present world
never thought it would become a thing of a past era. Cycling to my
rescue now!
08-31
A treat for end of the month, one of the earliest ascii collages I
made. Published on a mailing list when discussion about ascii art for
explaining programming popped up. Ofcourse I didn't dive off creating
my own, there were 2 miniatures I borrowed
|
2 _ _ | .-----------------.
d | 1 | | | Witch of Agnesi |
--- | -------------- | | | on a unit +-------------+
2 | / 2 \ | | | ˛---. | Start Here! |
dx | | 1 + x | | | | / ╲ +------+------+
|_ \ / _| | | L · j | |
0 | | \ ╱ | .---+------.
/ _.--. | | `---´ | | Place |
| f(x) * dx = ---´ ', | | Inflection | | Holders |
/ ___ | | | plot | |are really|
-1/ \| 3 \|/ | `-----------------' | tough |
__v==c. ' | _===__. `----------'
____v==/~~ '\. | v~ '~~===____.
~~~~~~~------------------'i------+-------/------------------'~~~~~~~~\
!._(_)_| v` _
\_)_(_| i` .' `-. _
W (,,.----------------. t(_)_| / /~\ / -¯`-. \|
| d`o| Sucked into | 'i_(_| / C oo * | ' `-oD8
c--(_| Flatland, | \_)_| i¯ _( ^) `.__: /|
| ( | Lost & | t(_| / / ~\ +--------+ ¯
PhS | Asciilarious | 'i_|/ --Keely-----|Hey-Pal!|--------
`----------------' '=/ | Dirac |
_ | _ +--------+ \~/
| / \ \ | | * oo D
| | i * (|) | - m | (_|_) = 0 )^ (_
|_ \ | / _| | \~ /
08-30
There are times when I doze off all day but still feel accomplished
and productive. Nice manipulation!
2 days back I wrote on smell memory. After a quick dive I found there
is dedicated discipline olfactory - to record scent, what a strange
sounding name. Main aim is to cash alongside augmented media but work
still seems to be under way. Damn ask Maude from 'Harold and Maude
(1971)' how she diy-ed it!
08-29
On my usual cycle route, there's a great view of a banyan tree on the
top of flyover. If I start the trip at 5am sprinting I reach the spot
after 10mins. At the hint of pale blue in pitch black sky with the day
light emerging from the hills behind, bats start returning to their
banyan home. It was scary at first with bat flocks hovering over my
head but soon got used to observing with still head; avoiding rabies
kisses. By the time more than half the flock of bats reaches the ban
yan, criping of birds start indicating their shared home quota for the
night was over; all these are synced within 15min
.> < .-, <¸
'>° ,( )-,_ °<'
o ,-.( .- . ')_
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()|() ˝>° ( || )
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· - , _ ·´
There used to be lake infront of this banyan but over the years it's
depth has been decreased and the bank is now filled with plastics! On
my way back I pass through another banyan tree and a temple under it
this is on the sides of service road.
No matter where the banyan is, staying under it even fo a minute gives
me a sense of peace.
08-28
I was going through daily chores which is sitting idle and suddenly
remembered a peculiar smell, was nowhere near any things that give it
off. These sort of hinting occurs at random times to me and the smells
itself have a story, a place and a past ingrained to it strongly.
This time though it was streets of Pusan and I believe I picked up on
the flower-ish scent on a mattress storefront. It was first night of
arrival in foreign country. Lights were buzzing on stores and apartme
nts as taxis was on the way to rental home. That mattress shop was the
first stop, it was almost closing time we-family brought quilt and pil
lows; later I was sitting on rear seat very tired. My memories after
that faded away but I remember on the next morning stroll I was given
a similar smelling strawberry shake by pa. The depature date clashed
clased with my annual test and it was on my mind when travelling but
sudden change of scenary made me forget all that for months. Even then
I was sitting idle during weekdays as we-family sideloaded pa as he
was visting the university for work.
Ventured into something there ^
Oh the smells, another that strikes now is my pungent senior secondary
school dorm; it has to do with cleaning agent.
Btw I still have that quilt on my bed, if it was fresh piece on store
then it's almost 20years old now
Present Pusan I'm seeing on videos has changed much From early 2000s
it's same for all the cities on earth, isn't it?
08-27
When I'm reciting a past activity I soon jumble point of view s/I/you
it's under the assumption that someone reading is about to undertake
the same; In fact I have done the same here a couple of days back.
It gets really annoying-faking as an instructor and in reality differs
for each person so I'm boycotting 'you get to' in favour of 'I did X'
this wasn't very evident to me untill I came across a post with exact
above perks, hehe thanks alter ego stranger
08-26
I wonder how every doggos find shelter under heat and rain nowadays
there are no overhangs or space surrounding new buildings it's a
perfect square with 0 cms to spare moreover concrete is layed on top
of road to building edge - what, a zero soil policy?
In a country where humans are finding road pavement as cozy bedroom
it's not surprising for doggos to squeeze, atleast this isn't the case
with pack around this vicinity.
08-25
I was brushing basics on space curves and polar systems, took a close
look on TNB frames of accelation.
\o/ made it!
finish /\┤
/ _/ \
,·´ / \
l ───────────────→ / \
╰-, project this onto /
\ a steep hill /
start
the first path is bird eye view, imagine you are walking forward
along this; you can keep the head straight and either walk straight
or sideways - corresponding former acceleration is Tangential, latter
being Normal
now project the path onto different terrain - a steep hill. Although
the traced path is same, as you move forward you start to gain altit
-ude and body twists with respect to ground accomadating ascent, not
like old video games where you kiss the hill always with just legs
moving. This twist is in perpendicular plane to both directions in
first case and acceleration associated is Binormal
let's tackle a real life situation. Riding on a corner, what do you do
you do to stay along? ofcourse steer maintaining a constant _
speed. Normal acceleration is what deals how fast swaying .─˙ .─╶
sideways changes with amount of steer. The full picture ,· ,·
╱ ╱
accel_normal = curvature × (velocity)² ↑
attacking a corner
steering increases curvature of path linearly but doubling velocity
quadruples the swaying! so next time when cornering slow down or
maintain the speed as usual at start and while on attacking the corner
pump a teeeny bit and steer less - very handy for non power steering
vechicles.
on pro cycling/skating track,s corners are banked/elevated at a angle
where gravity helps to sway. Also in these cases binormal acceleration
is different for each path, one closer to inner edge has maximal bi
normal acceleration(?) due to less steepness but banking help from
gravity is minimal. Gamble on the riders
08-24
Sleash's (dis)comfort is broken finally, let me lay my how-to.
start a timer at midnight 12, a daily cron job for xtimer will do now
fix how much free time you're allotting to the day - includes daily
chore and anything that only resembles consumption; if that number is
13, that's 13hrs of nothingness! awesome
now pause the timer whenever there's work/reading being done and make
sure by end of day around 9-10pm, the timer is behind the number. By
above example you would have progressed close to 11hrs!
why this works? since you can pause timer whenever there's some thing
done, you get the fake sense of controlling the time your self and
when you stray away, the guilt will poke you even mid day because of
the time constrain
from my trails, the best way is to pause the timer around 5 ie waking
before 5 and going into production, that's gives optimism later duing
day, since 13-5=8hrs of nothingness in the daylight! and doubt I have
done anything worthy after 8pm so I go lenient after that, calling it
a day.
my timer now is about to reach 18 (11pm now), quite a progress compari
ng yesterday
I do believe this works for night owls too with an offset in resetting
at midnight 12 - maybe 12 noon
08-23
I stumbled on a cycling manga - bikings by Jun Fudo, initial set
up was very honest, similarity to hajime no ippo really stricks
mc here is s/ ippo/ itto ipponogi, conincidence?
the bikes mentioned were real, early 2000s steel ·¯`
frames, straight geometry and art made me droll o__|/¯`
even info on frame setup and parts were drawn
at end of few chapters, sponsored? while reading dare disrupt
I thought a hill climbling technique was bluff my sleep
tested it on my short night ride today, fatigue cadence
throught the thigh and legs were more apparent than
my past 20km rides! racing and time trial were ballgame level
different than my endurance rides - 20km pun
here's the technique, change to reasonable inner lower gears and
imagine pushing the pedal with thigh bottom instead of foot heal
pick a straight course and pump the pedal as fast as you can.
On the way back alternate with single leg, I can only make 3/4
ish with slippers. I was panting when I reached home street but
2 doggos I know were running ahead cheering, pumped one last time
and breeze in hair was awesome. I did feed them before egg rice
so not for food hehe
oh sleash cycle, I did get away from it - doesn't look like with above
description? atleast partially..
08-22
There's a sense of guilt that struck only at end of the day, reminding
planned things aren't complete yet. Keeping away from sleep as well as
progressing, ending with yet another late night and getting on this
(sl)eep-(ea)t-shi(th) cycle again the next day
o_ o .·¯¯¯¯·, o
/`·./\ \`/ 88 / ¸´·╮
a morning pose? ·`-----·´ ╰´ '
pisces on table °
DownLoading...
I'm a fallen victim to this infamous sleash cycle for 4 days I do know
multiple way outs, testing it tomorrow.
yesterday I reminded family about month off from chewing quaterly anti
helmintics tablets, came across a smithsonian artilce about excavated
15th century monks with proper sanitation had twice the worm infection
than the regular mass, analyzed from unhatched worm eggs on skeletal
remains! why so? hint hint smelly fertilizer
08-21
After a tedious thinking for few nights, I have decided how to re
ssurrect this year old space. One major thing that drove me away
was the replication of www. Why would these small webs
need indexed pods, holes for each post, in the world /\ .___¸
of www it's makes sense for web crawlers to snatch o/__|/\
single page instead of century long life dairy but \/ `-
aren't these small webs trying to achieve the
opposite? over the years I have made ascii arts, collages some
were purged on mailings lists others reside deep, few cool ones
have lost to disk failures.
In the upcomings day I will be squeezing all (un)interesting things
people into this one plain txt and try to engage myself + friends