Happy Birthday to me... Meh.

Published June 5, 2024

I recently turned 40 yrs old. To me it was just another day, nothing special. It was great to no have any well wishes, or fanfare. No acknowledgement of the day, save one email that I really didn't want a birthday greeting from. I'm hopeful that life truely does start at 40 because I'm not where I want or expected to be in life on a personal and professional level.

I recently spent some time this past month researching Mastodon, I was trying to determine if it was something of use to me and if it was better than twitter (which I deleted long ago). After much thought and contemplation I arrived at the answer that like all social media, it is not for me. While it would be great to blast out a notifiaiton when I update my capsule or gopher hole to garner a larger audience I think a atom xml feed is really all I need. There is also the restrictions on what is and isn't allow in terms of speech on the many instances which I don't much like but I also don't want to deal with the headaches for running my own instance. The gemini capsule and gopher server I have are enough for me. The allure was there but critical thinking won, for which I'm glad. Unlike twitter though, I don't have to have an account to browse so I'll likely be digging to see what I can find sometimes but you'll never see an account for me and if you do it's most likely not even me in real life.

I'm still in the process of restoring data from backup after resintalling Debian 12 on my laptop, moving away from Ubuntu. I'm trying to restore things in an organized manner so that I don't end up with a messy setup again. I'll do my damndest to not become disorganzied again. I got my all-in-one scanner printer combo to scan over the network so I'll be able to commit to reducing my papaer hoarding. I need to come up worthwhile and compliant soluiton for keeping tax records in a digital format. I had to figure out why my vim-gnupg wasn't working. Turns out it was becuase the scdamon and libraries for Yubkikey hadn't been reinstalled. Whoops! Once fixed I was able to use vim-gnupg again.

I've been playing around with ChatGPT-4o latetly and am only margionally impressed. While it is great for most things I've determined that it sucks for trying to generate a floor plan layout based upon a description. Even showing it what I was expecting by giving ot a sample reference it still was not able to generate what I was looking for.

The book I've been reading lately is called "The Monk who sold his ferrari" by Robin Sharma. I'll have to share my thoughts when I've finished it.

I've been contemplating the idea of going phone-free or at least switching to a dumb phone for when I'm out and about among the general population. This consideration stems from a desire to disconnect from the constant digital noise and pervasive surveillance that comes with modern smartphones. I often feel that carrying a smartphone ties me to a world of constant connectivity, where privacy is increasingly compromised.

On the one hand, the allure of a simpler, less intrusive device is strong. A dumb phone would allow me to communicate without the distractions and surveillance capabilities of a smartphone. It would provide a sense of liberation from the endless notifications, apps, and tracking that have become an integral part of our daily lives. I yearn for the freedom to be more present in the moment and to engage with the world around me without the constant pull of a screen.

However, there is a significant concern that gives me pause: the potential safety and accountability that a smartphone can provide, particularly in encounters with law enforcement. In a time where reports of police misconduct and corruption are distressingly common, having a device with a decent camera could be crucial. The ability to record interactions with police officers might one day protect me or others from unjust treatment or provide evidence in situations where rights are being violated.

It's troubling to think that many officers, even those who might not be directly involved in corrupt practices, often remain silent about the misconduct of their peers. This silence perpetuates a culture of complicity, making it all the more important for individuals to have the means to document and expose such behavior. A smartphone, with its ability to quickly capture and share videos, becomes a powerful tool for accountability and justice.

Adding to this dilemma is my growing worry about the future—a future that increasingly resembles a dystopia where true freedom of movement is a distant dream. The pervasive surveillance and control exerted through digital devices threaten to erode the very essence of personal liberty. In this unfree world, the desperation to reclaim even a semblance of autonomy pushes me toward the idea of removing such devices from my life entirely.

In my most desperate moments, I consider the extreme measure of withdrawing from society altogether, finding solitude in a remote wilderness where true freedom might still be attainable. This, however, is a drastic and isolating solution, one that underscores the depth of my desire to be free in an increasingly unfree world. It reflects the inner conflict between seeking liberation from digital chains and recognizing the practical benefits that these very chains can sometimes provide.

"When the phone was tied with a wire, humans were free." This sentiment captures my longing for a time when communication was more deliberate and less invasive. I find myself yearning for a return to a simpler way of life, where I communicate solely through postal mail or email, and keep all my voice and video communications confined to the privacy of my home. If a phone must be used, it would remain at home, ensuring that my interactions occur in a controlled and private environment rather than the unpredictable and exposed public space.

By limiting my use of communication devices to the privacy of my home, I hope to reclaim a sense of freedom and autonomy that seems to be slipping away in our hyper-connected world. This approach may not be the ultimate solution, but it represents a step toward balancing the need for safety and accountability with the desire for personal liberty and privacy.