Buyer beware: crematory jewelry
By istván.
2023. április 2.
A friend who contacted me is having buyer's remorse because he ordered a cremation ring with his dad's ashes. He was not made aware of the problem with the style of ring he chose until I told him.
Yes, it was in the fine print, but who reads that?
The style of the ring in question is an inlay band where crushed mineral is used to fill the channel. You can find a lot of people making them at various price points using various metals. This design trend was started by Patrick Adair, who pumped much moneys into advertising on social media and selling DIY kits to produce rings in this style.
I don't begrudge him his success, but it does bother me when people confuse this kind of product with heirloom jewelry that's made to last. Adair's rings, and all rings created in this style, are made by super gluing material into the channel. Once hard, they are turned on a lathe (ideally) and lightly polished with jewelers tools, not lapidary tools.
Ignoring that difference in quality, there is a serious problem.
Super glue describes the family of cyanoacrylate adhesives. These are fantastic chemicals for forming instant bonds, but they are not considered durable. In fact, they are specifically designed to not be durable.
CA glues break down when exposed to acetone, nail polish remover, alcohol, vapors of any of the above - even water - over time. This is why they are used to preserve fossils in the field for transport to museums: they can be easily dissolved and removed.
I have no right to be mad when someone pays Mr. Adair $600 for a ring of non-precious metal and synthetic opal held together by super glue and fights me when I ask for $400 for gold and natural opal. That's my problem: I should market better or charge more. But I'm very bothered by people using his method and tools to produce cremation jewelry.
I do not like cremation jewelry. I do not like scattering ashes. I believe the body should be kept in tact and buried. The idea of hanging onto pieces of your parents' bodies as talismans is profoundly disordered.
But if someone is emotionally invested in retaining a physical piece of a dead relative, I find it revolting that anyone would take their money and give them something that's designed to fail. Especially since the customer is grieving, vulnerable, and under pressure to make a decision.
Even if by some miracle the ring doesn't fail within five years, a continuous band like this must be destroyed with no chance of repair when it's removed due to being stuck on a finger due to weight gain or swelling after an accident.
There's no coming back for my friend. He sent a tablespoon of his dad's to the ring maker and scattered the rest. When that ring disintegrates and no one can repair it, that's the end.
I hate seeing people abused this way by businesses.
If I were to come up with an alternative (and I would have to have a very long conversation with my spiritual director before doing it) I believe a better solution would be to create an epoxy cabochon. Or mix the ashes into epoxy and lay a brick base to back an opal doublet. This would yield a stone that can be transferred from ring to ring. In the case of the doublet, even if surface opal cracked a gem cutter could scrape it off and reuse the backing in a new doublet.
Epoxy can only be broken down by long-term exposure to potent concentrations of methylene chloride, which is banned in California and several countries. You're much less likely to accidentally put your hand in methylene chloride for six hours than you are to forget and take a shower with your ring on.
That's how you make something to last.